July 15, 2014

I find writing such as this (again) to be humiliating.  Which leads me to believe that there is still pride lodged somewhere deep within me.  With this understanding, this hostile feeling must be torn out.  What makes this much more difficult, is that I must do it, and without anesthetics.  It is known I cannot communicate very well with my mouth.  A weakness I never understood, but has been transfigured into something worth more than my own understanding.  In reality, it is writing that can travel much further than any sound a human voice could possibly convene.  I never specifically asked for this, nor do I have the slightest clue when it is time to write again.   It is once again, the only satisfying aspiration that has any significance.  It is truly the only "thing" I have poured my heart and soul into.  All because of faith I have never let go.  There is no doubt this will agitate some people and I am the last person with such intentions.  I would normally apologize, but such a confession could not be tortured out of me.  The acceptance from others is slowly dwindling.  Everything I have went through has been confirmed in the Bible.  It is now official, I must write.  I have felt a hint of God's love in very brief periods recently.  It is all I crave, nor will I stop my labor.  The closer I get to You, the less mental weight I bare.

With each tormenting wave of memories and confusion strike, I am propelled closer to Jesus.

As for my most recent blessed experience addressed in the previous writing.  I am also one who did not go without fault and bred anger.  We have all hurt others, whether intentionally or unintentional.  I have without a doubt, that all those involved, are virtuous humans... capable of inflicting mistakes.  Who can boast about not feeling turbulent towards another and actually acting on it?

Reviews

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

I can relate somewhat to this, I have a hard time sharing with my mouth, but with writing you can take your time to word things in a correct way. The thing that really spoke to me was "With each tormenting wave of memories and confusion strike, I am propelled closer to Jesus." This is another thing I can relate to. Sometimes it takes pain to realize that we can't go alone in this world and that God is the only one to give us true comfort and direction. Keep writing, it helps get things out and it is a good safe way to cope and I do believe it can help others especially those who are going through hard times and trying to hold on to faith too.