The black mist-like creature

The black mist-like creature

A Story by Melanie Jane Boicourt Shanks
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True story

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     I have always been open to believing in ghosts. I remember as a child, I often thought I saw a glimpse of some here and there. Of course, that notion is quickly whipped out of you as you grow up and realize that you aren’t supposed to talk of such things. You aren’t supposed to talk about a lot of things that seem very real to you as a child.

     I come from a very intuitive family and so I naturally had the ability to do and see some things that not all children could. Now, I know that it was normal for my family, but when I was younger, nobody talked of such things. For instance, I didn’t know that not all people could see the shadow-like lights that were around every living thing and a lot of nonliving things. I thought that everyone could see that. It wasn’t until later on in my childhood that I realized I was weird.

     Not to mention the fact that I saw things before they happened. Scary!! That is not a gift-curse that I would wish on any child. I thought that I was evil (spawn of the devil himself). It was hard to distinguish if I saw things before they happened or if I created things in my mind to happen.

     I remember one incident vividly. I was playing dodge ball in gym class in about 4th or 5th grade. I saw (I’ll call her Suzie) get hit right in the face with the ball. I saw it in my mind. I did not like “Suzie” very much. She was very mean to me. A lot of people were, but she was an instigator if you know what I mean. So when Suzie got hit in the face with the ball for real, I felt really weird (almost like I was guilty) and I didn’t throw the ball.

      Well, I since have made peace with my gift-curse after a very long and bumpy road of self-doubt and partial insanity. The long road led me from a confusing darkness where I turned away from anything spiritual at all, to an enlightening, anything goes, free-for-all existence. Luckily, I found my way back down to reality. On that road, I have seen some interesting things.

     The scariest thing that I ever saw as an adult was in an old duplex that I used to live in. My oldest son was six and my daughter was just a baby. It was about 10:30 in the morning and my husband was at work and my son was at school. I was on the couch napping off and on while my daughter napped in a playpen beside me. All of a sudden, I felt a bad energy come through the door. I saw a black mist-like creature on the ceiling and it saw me too. Now, I shouldn’t tell you this because if I do, you will blow this off as a dream, but here it goes….

      I never really opened my eyes. I was on the couch but I was no longer on the couch. I had instantly risen up out of my body at full attention ready for battle. That was how evil this thing felt. It was not some ordinary ghost. I quickly closed my thoughts as to not give any hint of weakness. This all happened without me really understanding how. It just did. I sent a message to it that I was not scared of it, I was not scared of anything and it was to leave this house immediately. I again had to guard my thoughts so as to not reveal the only thing that I was truly scared of (my children getting hurt).

     It flew across the room and down the hall. I followed it. Well, I was still on the couch but my awareness followed it all the way down the hall and it turned into my son’s room. It was then that I realized that I was not in my body. I think the guilt I felt for blowing off my sons complaint of the evil face that he always saw in his room brought me back. I quickly snapped back and then jumped off of the couch and ran into my son’s room. Of course I found nothing but an eerie feeling.

     Now, I know that some of you reading this will just think that this was all a dream. It did not feel like a dream to me. I have had some very real dreams and visions don’t get me wrong. Never had I snapped back into my body before jumping up and running down a hall. That was down right scary. One thing that came from all this was that I didn’t give my son a hard time when he didn’t want to sleep in his room. I am much more open with my children about their abilities. I hope that more people will take their children serious after reading this.

 

M.J.S.

2-18-08

© 2008 Melanie Jane Boicourt Shanks


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Featured Review

I remember you now.

Just kidding.

Interesting piece. The apparition sounded pretty scary. I often get the impression that little children and animals see things we often don't (or refuse to). There is a reason our stories from the past are filled with ghosts and goblins and things in the night. Maybe they are real after all, but choose not to be seen. Good write.

Posted 12 Years Ago


6 of 6 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Yes, you are right, adults should at least 'listen' to the children for once in a while even though kids' words are hard to believe just because we, the adults, couldn't see, touch, or hear it. Interesting piece, I must say, gives me goosebumps while remembering the experience I had when I was around 11 or 12. I didn't see things, but I could hear them, and I could even picture what they were doing with every sound I heard (eg. the tap water running in a very low volume while washing the plate. One of the glasses was removed among the many glasses which clink to each other very carefully, etc)

It is nice to read your writing, and it's nice to have you sharing it with us on Writer's Cafe.


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Of the other reviews (so far), the points made by Legion seem rather good. In style, you have managed to include all of the necessary details, without wasting words or straying from the subject. Also, it felt as if I was reading an entry in a diary or journal? I have not read any of your writing, until this moment. I look forward to reading more of your work, Melanie! And thankyou, for entering my Contest!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Reading this through a couple of times, I got the feeling that you have a good basis for a story here. As it is you are just telling us about your visions or second sight and it comes off as a little unfocused. I'm not sure what you were trying to accomplish by writing it, as it is little more than a journal entry. If I were you, I would look back on it and say, "How can I embellish it and turn it into a narrative?" It doesn't need to continue to be true, and I could see you doing an Allende to it - making it larger than life while not leaving the realm of the possible. This is true magical realism and has enormous potential if you chose to expand it. Have you ever read Ben Okri's The Famished Road? He blurs the dividing line between the real and the spirit world using a young boy as a narrator. I'm not saying that you should do that, but you've got the juxtaposition of the real and spiritual there already. It's just a matter of deciding how to use it.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Don't ever second guess what your readers will think of what you share with them about your gift or curse.
If you feel that it is real, then it is real to you and we have no right to judge you for that.

I believe you. You seem to be an intuitive. Thank you for sharing this story.

~Namaste~

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was good. I know a lot of people secretly believe in ghosts and such but they are afraid to admit it. This was scary. Very good write.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is so true. Little kids and animals can see and sense things that most adults can't. I know this isn't compleltely in context, but society today can't accept it, so most children learn to lock that part of them away. As a Wiccan, a major part of study now is learning how to remove the mental block I built up years ago and to once again see the realities of the world around us, the good and the evil. Great write.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You aren't crazy.... I really like this account of what happened to you. It is very vivid and honest.
remember:
"if you believe in ghosts, proof is not necessary;
if you don't believe in ghosts, proof doesn't matter."

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Out of the mouths of babes...

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Sorry That I took so long to get to this amazing peice! This peice has a feel of being real and true all over it, and believe me when I say that these things happen to all of the human beings living in this world. Just they don't mention it like you did. It happens with me too, but I don't have to courage to go around telling this to the world. I just keep these strange to myself. Can you believe I have a shadow who talks to me? Can you believe that in a night of a total blackout, I was singing for light and the blackout lifted the moment I reached the precise point in the song that wants the light!? These things happen to me too. Just I don't tell anybody. Happy writing! ~KA~

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Children have the ability to see much we don't .. this is because to me i think.. because they are not yet straddled by a society that tells them these things are not real.. I do know many are more attune to the supernatural if you will and have powers to see and feel things many of us don't ,, because we close our eyes and say it is imiagination ..and sometimes it is all too real.
Very enjoyable ..
Chloe
xoxo

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 18, 2008
Last Updated on February 23, 2008

Author

Melanie Jane Boicourt Shanks
Melanie Jane Boicourt Shanks

Fort Wayne, IN



About
I have been writing since I knew how. Before that I would just draw pictures to tell a story. My true passion is poetic lyrics. That is mostly what I am inspired to write. I have been dabbling in othe.. more..

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