Irish Green

Irish Green

A Poem by Melanie Jane Boicourt Shanks

With some Irish Spring, I lather well.

Green Apple shampoo, I love the smell.

Whistle clean now, I hang my green rag.

I wear my lime shirt and jeans with green tag.

In my hunter green truck I drive off to work.

Irish cream in my coffee, for a nice perk.

Her emerald eyes greet me at the door.

She says to me, "Why all the green for?"

I try to think of something Irish to say.

Then she says, "St. Patrick's was yesterday."

 

© 2008 Melanie Jane Boicourt Shanks


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Instead of "Why all the green for?" I'd suggest "What's all the green for?" I think it still flows with your poem - and it makes more sense. Did you mean to type "what's"?

Charming and very funny - You should try making some of these into e-cards, if you want to. I think you might even be able to sell them and promote your work. (some people are insulted when I suggest this, no idea why, but please don't be mad)

Thanks for sharing, it made me smile :D

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

ah! Nice piece..Very well written..
and I simply loved the twist in the end...The entire green shades in the piece, it enhances the overall feel too..
So..Its very well written and a superb read overall :)

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nice twist at the end,
Always love a St.Patty's tribute
Irish Spring indeedy
J.P.O.et

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oops - I think 'sais' is maybe a part of you writing style? I corrected it in another piece; sorry about that.
The only line I don't like is:
"to go, for a perk" - because it seems overly contrived to fit in with the rhyme structure, and doesn't make much sense/tell us anything. Coffee 'perks' people up, so there's scope to re-order the sentence a little. Just a suggestion.

Other than that, an entertaining story within a poem. Nice 'jaunty' rhythm, which fits in with the subject of st patrick's day.

Thanks for posting this.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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43 Reviews
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Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on March 16, 2008
Last Updated on March 18, 2008

Author

Melanie Jane Boicourt Shanks
Melanie Jane Boicourt Shanks

Fort Wayne, IN



About
I have been writing since I knew how. Before that I would just draw pictures to tell a story. My true passion is poetic lyrics. That is mostly what I am inspired to write. I have been dabbling in othe.. more..

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