Without Breath

A girl is swimming until the pain clouds her mind.

The ache had spread.

It had started in her shoulder, 

It had pulled at her back.

The others were watching.

Her tinted goggles 

and the crashing water

blocked them from view.

Their judging eyes 

passed over her

as she swam,

 and swam, 

and swam.

Everything was the glide

of water over her

and the ache of her body

and the harshness of breathing.

The water didn't care 

to judge her 

for who she was.

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"The water didn't care
to judge her
for who she was."

This does has a breath taking quality to it.. We fear the world for judging us, never realizing that whatever we'll do or don't, it doesn't change its perspective regarding us...
I liked how you used swimming as moving forward in the world, more like pushing through the waves...
Nicely worded.

[Mel Jayne]

Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. I like your interpretation.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You're welcome. Always a pleasure reading good works 😊

[Farhan Shaikh]

True poem,
Well penned and its true
Nature never judge..
Wonderful.
Loved it

[Mel Jayne]

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.

[B]

Society can carry so much layers
watching and judging
only nature never does

Thank you for writting this

[Mel Jayne]

You are very welcome. Thank you for the review.