Jane Doe

Jane Doe

A Story by MelissaAndres
"

Story of a young girl whose body is found by a fisherman and his son. Suicide or something more sinister?

"

They found my body in the early spring of 1966. The fisherman and his son came to test the waters under Orton Bridge when they discovered me, half-submerged in those frigid waters.


At first, I was unaware of where I was; what I was. I had a sense of being cold, oh so cold. As I watched the young boy's deep blue eyes grow round and wide, a chilling numbness washed over me. He kept staring and staring, then opened his mouth and screamed. Thankfully, I couldn't hear his cries but I gazed on as the chaos ensued. The fisherman slapped a rough, calloused hand over his son's eyes and half-dragged him to a dented, green pick-up parked along a nearby country lane.

Hovering closer to the jagged rock my head, neck and shoulders rested on, I noticed the scratches and scrapes along my puckered, blue-tinged skin. Twigs and leaves had embedded themselves into my long, tangled, wet-brown hair.

Were they coming back to help me? I couldn't stand. I couldn't open my eyes. Moving closer, I became aware that I wasn't breathing. Was my green and white striped sweater clinging to my torso too tight? Was that why I had stopped breathing? Confusion invaded my very core. What had happened? How had I gotten into the water?

Moving in more, I reached out to touch my shoulder. How was I able to do that? See myself? Know I wasn't breathing? Touch and feel my own clammy, thin frame?

Realization began to sink in. Was I? I couldn't be. No. No. No. NO! A terrified scream ripped from my parched throat. I felt something give way inside my head; a pop of understanding, an inkling of remembrance perhaps.

A glimmer of joy welled when I heard the chirp of bluebirds overhead, listened to the slight breeze filter through the treetops and the lapping of the river against ...

Oh, God, it was true! I was dead. I had been dead for a couple of months. The spring thaw had allowed the river currents to wash me ashore.

Veiled acceptance began to transform as the entire community trickled in one by one. The fisherman, police, paramedics, news reporters, cameramen and plain 'ol gossip-seekers tromped through wildflowers and weeds to gawk and speculate.

Several men and a few women clucked and shook their heads.

"Suicide?"

"Probably."

"Bet she jumped from the bridge."

Not true! I wanted to cry and shriek. I wanted them to knock on doors, check cars and venture into other towns to find my killer. My words would fall on deaf ears whether I spoke or not.

Maybe, just maybe, the necklace with the round, silver pendant and teal-colored stone clutched in my lifeless hand would provide a clue. Perhaps the man's name engraved on its backing would speak volumes.

© 2015 MelissaAndres


Author's Note

MelissaAndres
Please give an overall review on this mysterious short story. Thank you!

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Featured Review

Hi Melissa, I loved this opening! The first line is a definite attention getter. I agree with the other review that it needs to go further. Why mention it's 1966 in the first sentence if it isn't brought up again? That's a meaty year full impactful events and colorful people. Bring it in and use it. I don't necessarily need all the answers to a murder mystery, but I feel like I'm just starting to ask the questions! I want to get to know this dead girl. Good stuff! Thanks for sharing it.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MelissaAndres

4 Years Ago

Hi, Laura! Thank you so much for your review! I really appreciate it! I had written this with the.. read more
Laura Coleman-Heyne

4 Years Ago

I think you should dust it off and see what inspiration comes! I wish you the best with it. Can't wa.. read more
MelissaAndres

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much, Laura. I am glad you think this worthy of being continued. :)



Reviews

Hi Melissa, I loved this opening! The first line is a definite attention getter. I agree with the other review that it needs to go further. Why mention it's 1966 in the first sentence if it isn't brought up again? That's a meaty year full impactful events and colorful people. Bring it in and use it. I don't necessarily need all the answers to a murder mystery, but I feel like I'm just starting to ask the questions! I want to get to know this dead girl. Good stuff! Thanks for sharing it.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MelissaAndres

4 Years Ago

Hi, Laura! Thank you so much for your review! I really appreciate it! I had written this with the.. read more
Laura Coleman-Heyne

4 Years Ago

I think you should dust it off and see what inspiration comes! I wish you the best with it. Can't wa.. read more
MelissaAndres

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much, Laura. I am glad you think this worthy of being continued. :)
I think you've got something here that could, and probably should, be continued. The stark and shocking scene really grabs a reader's attention, and they'll surely want to know more. I gotta say, though, that the perspective is odd. It seems you have a dead body with a live spirit still inside of it, observing the world around. Who knows if this could be, but what we're accustomed to is remote viewing by the spirit. She sits in a tree, looking on, or stands nearby--that sort of thing.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MelissaAndres

4 Years Ago

Maybe there is a reason the dead girl is viewing herself in this manner. It may be something I need.. read more

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Added on September 7, 2015
Last Updated on September 7, 2015
Tags: short story, fiction, young girl, body, fisherman, son, suicide, murder, sinister, bridge, water, cold, angel, scratches

Author

MelissaAndres
MelissaAndres

Fort Worth, TX



About
Hi! My name's Melissa and I love to read and write! I am married to a wonderful guy named Mark and have a grown son and step-son and five beautiful grandchildren. I no longer work outside the home .. more..

Writing
Chapter One Chapter One

A Chapter by MelissaAndres


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A Chapter by MelissaAndres