RAIN PELT WINSHIELD

squinting through the fog

blinding thoughts beat down
on this rain-pelt windshield
fractalled from days of hail.

gunpowder flashes
freeze faces on rear view lobes
streaked by sheets on panes
distorting lanes outside
a fragile frame.

razor whispers rasp their mockery
between the crash of cymbals
pealing and careening
til the slingshot alarm
rives the silence
of a midnight smoke.

clouds abound in the absence of a rustle
and the world is sheathed in a vinyl sleeve.

 squinting...

     squinting...

       where was i?

Reviews

[Sahar moonlight]

the choice of your words in ur poem was really perfect. This was really great one and so rich.

[Aka_Kitsune]

i think your poem is well written and very interesting :)

[Bare trees]

This one is so rich with metaphors. Stress can mark our thoughts with dark forbodings and scattered day-dreams when things become too confusing and unclear. I like the windshield metaphor and the words you use to convey the stormy situation. Not sure I understand the vinyl sleeve.

Great writing.

[L. Edward Neale]

Your work is very seasoned and eclectic. It rare to see someone who can express themselves so eloquently across such a range. This one feels deliciously noir, black and white, soulful, meloncholic.

[khalid]

i like it, you are really giftd and talented. if you keep on writing this way, im sure you will be amongst the best poets soo soon

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Life is full of emotional storms... I loved a lot of the metaphorical references in the poem.

[J]

wow! it's always a lovely surprise to happen upon writing quartered in such creative, fresh metaphors. great use of seldom-used words in proximity to each other creating cacophony and silence in equal intensity.

this is a great write -- so full of movement, sound, smell, spectacular images ... "clouds abound in the absence of a rustle/and the world is sheathed in a vinyl sleeve."

well done!