Nothingness

Nothingness

A Poem by Messengeroflove

I know how you feel. Like a million swords have been carefully threaded through your chest squeezing your lungs like there’s nothing left. And you think about those times in your family home where dad was always away and mom was always on her pills crying to sleep- no one ever emotionally there. Like you’re in an inter-dimensional cave knocking when you know no one will answer but you still have hope. As you sit in your bedroom wondering what it’s all for seeking for some outlet that’ll provide. Like thinking of all the weekends killing your brain with alcohol never really helped- but it was better than what you currently felt. Like a soul taking a stroll through a cemetery asking questions at each tomb stone thinking you’ll get a reply. You know though. You know what you’re doing isn’t going to fix it, you think on that and jumble it around consciously and you still do it. Like the same cigarettes you’ve been smoking since you took that drag. You knew it never helped, but it made you feel something. Like the hurting of your own body actually made you feel alive. Something you couldn’t feel because you sobbed for years into that pillow. Asking god why and screaming into the shadows of the void but never actually praying. Just yelling and letting it go and then other times being like a sick cancer patient with no life force left. All dried up at 16 years old. Who would’ve ever thought. Such an intelligent and creative being with the penmanship of Thoth and the artistry coding of Van Gogh yet it was never enough. Always never enough no matter what you saw with your eyes. Constantly needing validation from everyone around and it always being a let down of what you actually wanted yourself to be. But you liked it. There was a part of you that actually loved it. You embraced the darkness that rest in your pupils. The stares from the street walkers. The citizens of the lost. You thrived on the acknowledgement of how much others were so mysterious about you. The sense of wonder that came over them as you spoke, they listened. Like it was a book we all were meant to hear in the 2nd grade but it was never published by the system. Through this view you knew you were onto something, but that something was a living hell each day for you and you couldn’t understand it all. But you couldn’t resist. So the only thing you could do was persist in the world of nothingness.

© 2017 Messengeroflove


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A lot of people will relate to this.
Excellently phrased - great imagery -
"Like a soul taking a stroll through a cemetery asking questions at each tomb stone thinking you’ll get a reply. ..." - exquisite scene!


Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Messengeroflove

6 Years Ago

Thank you tony I appreciate your feedback. I usually write in a different way that is more direct wi.. read more
Sweetly Suffering, Magically Recreating

Great Read

Matthew

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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2 Reviews
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Added on November 13, 2017
Last Updated on November 13, 2017
Tags: Nothingness, life, poetry, spiritual, divine, lost, love, sadness, strength, god

Author

Messengeroflove
Messengeroflove

Charlotte, NC



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Is it me that’s writing or is that god? more..

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