Over My Dead Body (A Prequilic Intoduction)

 

 Over my dead body.
             What a peculiar phrase, it’s simple, clear, & often misused. If you use it then you must be prepared to die, & when it comes down to it very few people are ready to die for anything. Let alone a wallet. However whether we misuse the phrase or not you shouldn’t really fault someone who takes you up on your challenge.
Didn’t stop me.
             When I came to I didn’t too much care for my surroundings. The alley I had been passing through was still dark, still damp, & still smelled like s**t. My first thought was that I was dead, which considering the fact that I had been shot somewhere near the head was quite likely.
            I ached, a good sign considering.
            If I was dead I should be able to see my body.
            I couldn’t.
            This meant one of three things: 1) I was alive & the bullet had missed 2) the bullet had connected & I was going to die very soon due to internal bleeding. Or 3) that I was dead & the movies had got it wrong.
            I decided that seeing how I felt fine minus the bump on the back of my head, I must be alive & that the bullet had missed.
            I felt around in my pockets to see if, as I suspected, my wallet was gone. It was.
            That was fantastic.
            It meant that I had been mugged, someone had taken my wallet, & I was free to go on my merry way. Well not so merry seeing how I was now out several hundred dollars.
            Then the strangest thing happened.
            I saw a man, dressed all in white, step out of a building.
            Let me tell you, that made me reconsider whether I had died or not.
            He just stepped right out of the wall, looked around, and lit a cigarette. The aroma was not something I had smelled since my childhood. It was a fine rare tobacco, from a small island near Greece. An island so small that most people never knew of it, for it was too small to be put on most maps. I in fact only knew about it because my father had a passion for rare tobaccos, & had taken me to that island as a child.
            What a strange figure this man cut, in his white shirt that looked freshly clean, with his white coat, & white shoes polished so that they shown like the sun even in the shadows of the alley.
            He looked at me only once, & for that I was glad, his eyes which were un-extraordinary took on the look that only judges & priests should have.
            The look of someone who holds all the keys.
            I knew then that he would take up my challenge.
            It would be over my dead body.

 

Author's Note

The first of a set of stories that I began writing. The idea was to tell the story of a fight between good and evil but from the perspective of people watching. As always I respectfully ask is that you don�t critique my work or my grammar, but I welcome comments with open arms.

Reviews

[Glassboxes]

You have a good hook in this one. Your imagery is very clean cut in this one and as always intense. When you mentioned the special tobacco it seemed a little bit too much of a coincidence that the man in white would be smoking something from the narrator's childhood but then you went on to make the man in white seem more "odd" or mystical so now it's much more plausible. It adds to his eeriness that not only is he smoking a rare tobacco the character's father was fond of but he's doing it while the narrator is lying there in the alleyway... oh my. Can't wait to read more!

[Dominic Rosales]

I like it, it is a good connection between the term and the actually and literal usage of it. I like this story because it is short, makes its point and I wanna read more, that's all you need when it comes to me. Good job, I can't wait to read more of your work. Keep up the good work

[MNeilsen]

I really liked this. You put me in that alley. I was your character, watching him walk through the wall. When reading that is something that is a must for me. I must be able to see everything as if watching a movie. Can't wait to read more of your work.