Bad Apple

Bad Apple

 

You see me with my mother’s eye,
cataract – clouded, made blind by love.
In your too partial sight
I’m rosy and light.
Though my core is off-centre
in your vision it doesn’t enter.

 

And I see you through stagnant tears,
my razor eyes always shaving you down.
You are not the apple of my eye.
Though your core’s in the centre,
In my vision it doesn’t enter.

 

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

Love those first two lines - great parallel to paint the scene for us.
It's quite a sad poem; I feel bad for the addressee, their love and admiration unreciprocated.
Good imagery throughout.
I wasn't sure how I felt about the rhyme structure, but it didn't spoil the flow for me so I guess it doesn't matter. One of those instinctual poems, where the rhyme comes of its own will?

Thanks for sharing this piece.

p.s.
"In my vision it doesn't enter" [In = in, to maintain consistency...or did you want the reader to place more emphasis on this final line?]

[Luke Ritta]

Very good work.......I liked this alot!

[Robert Francis Callaci]

One hell of a poem about unrequited love with a little bit of a twist- the unrequiter has self esteem issues and it seems she feels she is not good enough for our dudley do right- her core is off-centre- love that term- enjoyed piece-


my warmest
bob

[Michelle Stinson]

Wow, I LOVE this. The mirroring, the images, mostly the mirroring - it says everything that's not being said. Awesome.