Dark Water

my drunk write....

The cold slenderized steel....

The dejection motion of my heart.

As I twist the maddening pain...

Showing me that I am alive.

 

As the pensiveness of emotion,

like love is being rarley felt.

I romatisize with the thoughts,

of self destruction.

That I finaly realize...

That time seems ifinite when it isn't so dear.

 

As my fleeting lifeless body falls...

The dark water splashes the concrete.

Kissing the puddles...

As I decend into a cold peace.

 

 I wake to the angel's greeting...

As I enter Eden's garden.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

Hmm... how can we get you to write... without you actually being drunk... lol!

jk. ;) Anyways, this is great. It's definitely thought-provoking and it gets the reader thinkin' about the darkest thunderstorms in the lightest of places (being heaven)... or at least, that's what it gets me thinking about. Awesome work. ^^

Ironically Yours.

[Audrie]

wow - life and love are filled with torture- this piece depicts it quite well.

[Sheila Marie Carr]

Wow this is a very good write, and being drunk when you wrote it, just says that you have a natural talent. Great job!

[Nae Nae]

This is so deep ...It really speaks to me ...Emotionally and mentally.

Love it!

...Nae-Nae

[H]

You wrote this while you were drunk and it's pretty amazing. I'm not sure if you want suggestions on how to improve upon it [while sober], but if you do, let me know ;)

[THE LOST ROSE]

Drunk or sober this is really good. I have read your work in the past and I can't remeber what poem inspired me to write a poem that people raved about but anyway I do remeber loving your work. This one is no exception. I enjoyed this drunk poem as well. Love the richness to it!

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Beautifully written. Honest. Thank you for sharing. Debileah