The fall of Erthys.

An attempt at writing an epic. I don't have a full story of Erthys, but depending how you all like the poem, I might construct one.

Who tied my hands to the Wheel?

A fate that I must conceal.

Where have we gone with the past?

Regretting all of our memories.

 

*Static*

 

A dark voice breaks through

Silently empty corridors.

Man sits alone,

Lost, but not forgotten.

 

“Do you know why you’re here?”

*Static reverberates off the walls*

The silent dripping of water, echoes down the void.

“My son, speak aloud.”

 

Cold wind creeps through tiny cracks,

Wind swept floors gloss over with ice.

“I shall speak, but my words will

Have no meaning within.”

 

*Static erupts through the halls again*

A cry echoes down the chamber.

“It is your destiny to be king.”

The voice sounded aloud, strict in behavior.

 

A hush swept by, all sound lost.

For a moment he was awake again.

The voice returned, broader,

“You were born righteous.”

 

*Static*

A cold whisper slivered down the walls,

Behind the man was a frivolous call.

“Erthys!”

 

A sword lay motionless

Before the man, alone.

Tears dotting steel,

For the loss of souls.

 

The static sound left the chamber;

Erthys rose to his feet.

Taking sword in hand,

Drowning all defeat.

 

“My son…”

The voice repeated endlessly

In the mind of Erthys.

“My son…”

 

Standing tall as he did,

He brought the sword up high.

Point aimed at the ground,

He plunged the tip inside.

 

Chambers shook with falling structure,

Erthys held his ground.

“Please your people son.

Be a king, make me proud.”

 

Golden robes of glory

Fell down to his feet.

Lined with black and silver,

Colors gleaming peace.

 

No sound cried out,

Not a voice, not a shout.

None but the eerie shriek

As Erthys fell to his knees.

 

Demons fled the tower

As white light spread within.

“In this darkened hour

A king shall truly stand.”

 

“For Venemir, my love.”

Erthys wept in honor

As he collapsed in ruins,

His heart colored somber.

Author's Note

First time really working on the looks of a poem once I post it ;P It's not the usual kind of thing I write, but it was a great experimentation. I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it.

Reviews

[KAOlmsted]

I really don't know who Erthys is, but he seems rather conflicted in his role as king...on the other hand...I really don't know who Erthys is ;-)

The poem, though, is quite good. But I don't know if I would call it "epic", simply because it's not very long, and it really doesn't give me any idea what this Erthys did that was so heroic, or even which culture in which he may have been a hero...but then again...I really don't know who Erthys is (had I mentioned?)

My favorite bit:
"A sword lay motionless
Before the man, alone.
Tears dotting steel,
For the loss of souls."
--beautifully illustrated with powerful words.

Well done. I read it three times...something I very rarely do...because it was that good.

-kimmer

[Michael Thrower]

Well, like I said, it was a bit of a try at making one. If everyone seemed to like it enough, I was going to go all out. People seem to like it, but I'm being lazy.

Thank you for the review, lol ;D I feel so honored -bows- I'm glad you enjoyed ;)

[KAOlmsted]

Oh...okay, because when I Googled it *laugh* I was directed to some demon card in some game which held my interest for, like, a nanosecond ;-) Okay good. Yes. By all means, go all out; I'll read it. (I know all about lazy, Michael, I have been writing the same chapter for 2 months and I only have a handful of paragraphs *laugh*) I'll tell YOU what I tell myself: "Meh, there's always tomorrow..." No wait. That doesn't seem right.

My pleasure. I did enjoy.

[Michael Thrower]

Hahaha xD You're the best ;)

[Michael Thrower]

I wouldn't doubt it was from a card game either. I do play a lot of games ;P The first name I thought of was Arthas (WoW), but I remembered it was from WoW, so I twisted it to Erthys. Oh well lol.

[Riley Mistwood]

I really enjoyed your poem.

[Ana Soo]

Merlin came to mind:) i think you're trying to create a play. the plot is good but i think you're rushing it up.

[Michael Thrower]

Why thank you Ana

[eglantine]

woah--props to you for attempting an epic. I don't have the willpower to do so. Love that last line. Look forward to seeing the rest. Thanks for sharing.

[Michael Thrower]

Thank you! If anything, it's an excerpt of what a real epic would be (If I ever wrote one, which I might soon.)

Glad you enjoyed! :D

[eglantine]

do it!

[Jason]

Wow this is great, I can cleary tell how much work you put into it, good job :)

[Lover Of Words]

This is really good and it seems like you worked really hard to get the words right great write really enjoyed this alot

[C.C. Marx]

Wow....hmmm *searching for words* umm....well *adds to library and still thinking of words*

[Michael Thrower]

Lmfao! Haha, thank you, thank you :D

[C.C. Marx]

no problem I still thinking of words but I enjoyed it

[Heromen Selena]

This was so cool!!!! I could picture the whole poem. Very good job. Really amazing actually.

[Those Who See]

This is really nicely put together. The imagery is vivid and intense and makes you feel the moment portrayed in the poem. Very well written, I really hope you write more like it.

[RachelReaper]

this was beautiful. I-I'm at t a loss for words...

[Michael Thrower]

Lol well thank you :D *Bows* I hope you enjoyed :P

[RachelReaper]

I did.