A Story by lost sock

This is a response to a prompt. I don't care for it much, but I promised/am being forced to share, so here it is. :P



     He stood close to the edge, peering down at the dark waters below. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the railing. A little closer his toes inched, then back once again. Eyes squeezed tight, determination wavering, he stood motionless.

     A heavy sigh—almost a growl—escaped his lips, and he kicked at the ground. He hated himself for not having the strength to continue. Why? This single word rang in his ears, a question he knew many would later ask. Why not? There was no proper response.

     And yet he still stood there, unable to go forward, not willing to go back. He turned, heels and back against the railing. His eyes slowly cracked open, and for the first time, he took a good look at his surroundings. The sky was bright blue and free of clouds. The sun shone brilliantly, making the day cheerfully warm. He was surprised to find that he was no longer alone; a silver-haired man and a small girl stood with their backs to him on the other side of the bridge.

     The girl, no older than three, watched intently as the old man baited the hook of her small, pink fishing pole. Once the bait was secure, she eyed it cautiously. A tentative finger barely poked the worm, then she recoiled with a squeal. The air filled with giggles of delight when her grandfather helped her cast the line. Soft blonde curls bounced as she jumped up and down excitedly.

     Fingers gradually loosened, slipping from the railing. No. That infectious laughter wouldn't let him. He stepped away from the edge, solidly planting his feet much farther from their original destination. This young girl had so much innocence. She was happy and carefree. He couldn't taint that. One step, then two, he walked away. The sound of the water below still roared in his ears, but those light giggles spoke louder.

© 2008 lost sock

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This indeed is an infectious little narrative. I truly enjoyed sitting by the wayside watching as you narrated this piece. It grew on me. I was drawn in instantly upon seeing the tension in the gripping hands of the would-be jumper. Nice use of foreshadow at the end when the main character contemplated the emotional scar that would be left upon the psyche of the innocent little girl.
Excellent morals are imparted with this work. Nice to see a feel-good story come out of something that could have wound up so tragically wrong. More stories laced with wholesome images of our degenerate society are a welcome respite from the morass.
I really enjoyed reading this! Left me feeling hopeful. THANKS! :-)

Posted 16 Years Ago

Oh my gosh, Michelle, this is great!!!!!!! I'm glad that I finally get to read it!!!!! It's short, but poignant. I love the way that the little girl's innocence saves the man from his own sins. Good job, and I'm sure everyone at Writing Club will love it. :)

P.S. Kinda weird - - Sara and I both thought of infectious love, and you and Lacey both thought of infectious laughter. Hmmm...

Posted 16 Years Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on April 29, 2008