Tree Girl

Are all men really idiots?

Tree Girl

Hello there, my name is Madelynn and I live in a tree. Well, it's not exactly like life in a tree as say... a bird. No, it's more like a family of humans attempting to live in a tree. I don't think it's going so well so far.

 Don't tell my Dad, he thinks things are just hunky dory. That's tree talk for,things are going just fine.

My Dad in general is a pretty smart guy. But intelligence isn't always on display when reviewing some of his miscalculations.

For instance; trees. Not all trees grow at the same rate of speed. Some are rapid growers, and some are not. That would explain why our five year old tree home sits a bit on the lopsided side of things. We have to walk uphill to reach the kitchen from the dinning area.

It might also explain why my younger sister Tami rolls out of her bed at night heading straight for the homes edge and to certain doom.

 Mom ties a rope around her ankles to keep her from falling too far.

 One morning we found her hanging upside down just outside her bedroom. She giggled and laughed thinking the whole adventure was simply fabulous. 

 Mom was not so thrilled and demanded my father, "get this damned place fixed".

 Those were her exact words.

 Over there, standing beneath the lower end of our home is my father.

 He plans on taking some sort of hydraulic ratcheting device to raise the lower end by, "cranking her up"...I think that's how he put it.

 My mom begged him to seek out help from one of the neighbors, or get professional help, but his, "damned male pride," won't allow him to do that.

 I'm not quite sure what "damned male pride" is but I think it means my dad is about to do something that will result into some disastrously, horrifying event of utter destruction.

My father insisted he knew best and would go on doing things his own way.

"What a foolish man," my mother told me.

I can't tell you how many times my mother has told me how idiotic men are.

She repeatedly said, "Men are just plain idiots."

I get a bit confused by this because, if men are such idiots, then why do women marry them?

I don't think I'll marry an idiot man.

 For the next two weeks my two sisters, my mom, and I sat on our earthly lawn and watched as my father single handedly pushed, pulled, raised and lowered various parts until he finally declared the job complete.

 I stood in amazement at what my father had done, and no disaster had befallen any of us.

My mother was even more amazed until...well, 

 Stepping into our home in the trees we all immediately noticed a sizable lean toward the opposite end of the home.

 That's right, failing to check with a level, dad had raised the house much too much in the opposite direction.

"Bob!" cried out my mother, "what have you done?"

Dad looked at my mother and said,

"Well, just think of it honey, in five years the house will level itself."

Actually, he was technically right, but my mom wasn't buying it.

 Mom looked at me and started to say, 

"Men..."

"I know mom," I chirped in, "they're all idiots."

The next day my dear sweet dad was outside lowering the house until it was level and set straight.

My mom held his hand and commented,

"Great job Bob. I knew you could do it all along."

 I sat bewildered. Since when had my mother become such a great liar.

 Next year we're building a tree travel trailer. I haven't quit figured out how that's going to work, but I bet my father has.

Author's Note

Have you ever dreamed of living in a tree?

Reviews

[Norman 223]

I suppose if you live in a tree, one has to branch out with new skills, leaning toward trying to maintain straight thinking.
Sorry if you had me barking up the wrong tree, but I loved the almost surrealistic ingenuity of this story .

Norman.

[lakinbob]

Really liked this. Originality is all as far as I'm concerned, and this shouts original from the rooftops.

As for all men being idiots. I am myself perfectly happy to hand my wife the instructions of how to put together a flat pack wardrobe, (as long as I'm in charge of the screwdriver of course.) :))