Pronouns

Pronouns

A Story by M.E.Lyle
"

It's a mad, mad, world.

"
Pronouns

 So...don't you just love it when people start a sentence with 'So'?
 Well, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

So...she told me she would love me like no other woman could ever do. It would be a love that was infinite, that means...forever. She said it would be a love like none ever ever known throughout mankind's existence. 
 She was right, for awhile. 
Things were going great, great until the night I introduced her to my parents. This was several months after our blissful beginnings.
 I introduced her as my girlfriend Rhonda at which time she corrected me by announcing she was NOT my girlfriend, she was my 'we' friend.
WHAT? Was I hearing her correctly...wefriend?
"What does that mean,?" I thought silently.
I pulled her aside and asked her about her meaning of the term.
Her explanation was quite clear, yet confusing at the same time.
"I will not,henceforth, be identified by any singular gender label. I am neither he nor she."
 I stepped back, gave her a good look over and replied,
"Well," I said, "I have some knowledge of human anatomy, and judging by what I see, you are neither a he, him, a boy, or a guy.
 Nope, I'm pretty sure you're a girl of some sort."
She pushed me aside, glared into my eyes, and proclaimed,
"You don't understand anything. I am not a she, her, girl, female, him, he, boy, or male."
 "Well what then?" I asked. "What's left to be? I think you covered pretty much everything."
 She stepped forward and came face to face saying as she did,
"I am we, they, them, us. Don't you see it? "
To be truthful, I didn't see it.
"Look," I said, "We,they,them,us, those are all plural pronouns meaning more than one. As hard as I try, I can only see one of you.
 If you had multiple personalities, maybe I could see it, but you don't...do you?"
Suddenly her/we  spewed forth a tongue lashing, as fire shot from her mouth,
"I hate you," we said.
 We kicked me on my shin bone. We was wearing boots with hard metal toes.
It hurt.
 Understandably, we are no longer boyfriend and girlfriend. 
No, wait, let me rephrase that, boyfriend and wefriend, or would it be something else? I'm so confused, in a masculine sort of way.

Are dogs really cats, or something else?
 Fish are neither singular nor plural.
Same goes for deer, and moose.
I bet a boy moose knows a girl moose when he meets one.
There's no moose stake about that.
When did being part of mankind become so complicated?
Or is that wekind?

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him;
male and female He created them." Genesis 1:27

How confusing could it be?

© 2020 M.E.Lyle


Author's Note

M.E.Lyle
I was just thinking about the mailman the other day. Most are now mail woman.
Now we call them mail persons. What's next?

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Added on August 1, 2020
Last Updated on August 1, 2020

Author

M.E.Lyle
M.E.Lyle

Wills Point, TX



About
OK, I'm no longer 69, but 70 sounds so awfully old, so I won't be 70. I can try, even though my birth certificate will prove me a liar. I hike up mountains with my lovely wife, ride bikes, rollerbla.. more..

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