I Was So Young

Monologue/story - mixture between the two :)

It just felt like I was broke. I didn't know what to do, where to go. I was trapped in this endless spiral of longing. I was sinking, downing into this pit of despair, trapping even further. I never knew that something so beautiful could cause this much pain. It was such a beautiful disaster. I didn't want to let go, I could not let go of this heavenly thing that had been created. Holding on was no where near as painful as giving in to the truth.

The worst part was when I finally started believing I'd become so numb. Emotionless. I wasn't like I am now, It was if everything had been sucked from my body. I was this shell, this shell that just was. Everything has been taken from me all I lived for, all I had yet to live for it had all been stolen. I worked so hard, it took me so long to re-build everything. At the end of the day I'm still the one left hurt. I'm still the one who had to carry all of this pain and it's not like he even showed he cared. 

It like I'm just a show. All this 'happiness' people see, it's not real, it doesn't even exist. It's forced. What's the point in trying to make other's feel my pain? So they can see what I've gone through? So they can feel how much my life had been torn and ripped apart? They'll never understand what it's like. I want, no, need some else to have 'happiness' when I can't. 

I held this perfection in my hands for a little less than an hour. I had this beautiful image. It was the three of us. All I wanted and all I needed. It was stolen away before I had got the chance to say goodbye. It was gone in haze. All I remember is people rushing constantly around me, fussing with machinery. Then, it all stopped. It was gone. Everything was gone. My baby, my husband all taken away by some nasty trick of fate. 

I couldn't cope, I couldn't cope with my baby gone with her death daunting above my head and in my heard. Soon even he left me. 

I was so young and I had to live with it for the rest of my life.

Author's Note

Ignore my Grammar it's always terrible.

This was written after reading through a Monologue with a group of people who all go to Advanced Drama with me. We read this hard hitting monologue about a young girl going through heartache. So I came up with the idea for this. It's meant to confuse you at the start and make more sense at the end when you actually find out what's happened to her.

I hope you enjoy :)