My enternal cloud

one day a boy asked me "what am i living under"......my answer "a black cloud"

stars rain hells flame

compare to love the birds wings

slightest touch broken tear,

half pain

whole dead,

keep me safe

no one tames

keeping fear

at lions claim,

ruby eyes diamond heart,

looking up no more tears to shed,

shell for a home

keeps us apart,

blood drips down...no wait it pounds

right above me

my darkest cloud.

Reviews

[Eternally Elemental]

Wow, how has this gone so long without a review??? This is incredible in expressions and the colors are very clever.

Ruby eyes Diamond heart. I LOVE that. Even though this is a dark piece I see light in these two things.
Ruby eyes are burning with a passionate red glow. And a diamond heart is such a strong image. Both are jewels, placed in a sad place. Ruby eyes and diamond hearts shouldn't be there :)

Very good. I love the style you have developed. It is very unique.

[Sseoni]

I really liked this! Very descriptive and detailed! I loved the use of the vivid colors! It really added to the effect of the poem! Brilliant poem! :D