Please (stay)

"Please! 

Please stay!

I can't do this on my own!

Baby...you're My everything...

I remembered your birthday,

26th of May!"

Slamming drawers 

Packing your clothes

Heartbroken

New skin exposed

"No! 

I won't stay and watch you destroy yourself

Day in and day out!

What about me?

Do you even care

That every time the blade slides across

It tears me apart?

It's over.

We're beyond repair.."

"Fine! 

Then I'm done too!"

I grabbed the pistol

Placed it over my heart

You looked up from packing

Just to see me whisper 

"Goodbye Brice"

And the gun going off

With a loud start

You grabbed me in your arms

Screamed for me not to leave

Whispering sorry

Praying softly

To the only thing you had left

"God save her soul

But please don't take her away

I need her with me

Please, let her stay

God, I beg of you

If you have to take her

Can you please take me too?"

We were only kids

Kids in love

I may not be with you

But baby, always believe

That if it counts 

I'll always love you

Author's Note

Um I guess this is slightly something I feel? I know it sounds weird...I don't know, it's just something I can't explain.

But this is kinda like a metaphor because this is how I feel sometimes when I talk to my ex. I do think of suicide a lot but that is just because I have bad depression. And half the time I feel like I'm nothing because he left me because of my "problems", but ANYWAYS my ex's name is Brice and his birthday is on the 26th of May so somewhat this poem is based on truth...I guess? I am not a religious person though (I'm Atheist) but my ex is so I know he would pray. But sorry for ranting guys!

Anyways I hope everyone likes. Please, if you like it leave me a review and if you don't leave me one and tell me why you didn't like it or what I could do to improve it.
Thanks for taking the time to read!

Reviews

[Fréyjä Helv..]

I find whatever emo too cliche. I don't know, it's always predictable. I love the dark stuff, I'm self destructive as well, but this doesn't catch my attention. But I'm not saying it's bad. It's sincere...

I've been through that when suicide was like an option and self inflicted pain was comforting. They tell me it will get better, and it does. You just have to get through that phase. Pain is a consequence of Love. The more you love someone, you're risking yourself more to a greater pain. Keep down expectations...

[Speak in Silence]

I don't always write like this although I do not like this one either. I was just spilling things out on paper ya know? Maybe it will get better, or at least I hope so. Thanks for reading

[B-poet]

Powerful and riveting. Being that deeply in love can be trumatic if the break-up is as intense as you've written it here. Great illustration of this in your poem. Great job. :)

[Speak in Silence]

Thank you for reading and reviewing

[Hope's Etro]

This is a great/strong piece!! I love it ^^...I'v had to many of those moments :/ but we need to stick together; you and I. Were both good writers' lets keep wooing the world with words hehe ^.-

[Speak in Silence]

Haha thank you! I agree. All of us writers should just form some sort of clan lol

[Hope's Etro]

yep ^^ if only this site had groups :/...I would totality join forces with you

[Wórdsmíth]

Tht's pretty nice write, liked youur "stay".
very touchable poem

[Speak in Silence]

Thank you

[Wórdsmíth]

HEY, if may i ask, the idea to write generated from where ??

[Speak in Silence]

I wouldn't say it was based on personal experiences but it basically something that's happened inside my head before. It's a really long story.

[Speak in Silence]

If you read the Author's Note, it will kinda give you some more information about what this is based on.

[OneStrangeVibe]

This was deliciously evil in a way, it hits all the dark spots and i love it.
Sorry to hear about all this, but it definitely produced some good work

very beautiful(:

[Speak in Silence]

Thank you

[Panda11598]

Very touching piece. First off, this part just got to me:

"God save her soul
But please don't take her away
I need her with me
Please, let her stay

God, I beg of you
If you have to take her
Can you please take me too?"

I don't know- just reading that brought me insane feelings about this piece. You really showed how true love can really be. I really enjoyed how you sort of flipped the true meaning of this, going from you to him. It brought it all together very nicely. 100/100

[Speak in Silence]

Why thank you

[Rhianne Ney]

Great and nicely versed.

100/100
Keep writing~

[Speak in Silence]

Thank you!

[Rhianne Ney]

You're welcome keep it up

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad ending the poem. Killing yourself bring regret and sadness to the people around you. I like the conversation and visions create by the poem. Sort of a happy ending. If last words we hear are love. Maybe we can go to the next place in peace. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Speak in Silence]

Thank you for taking the time to read and review

[Tsukin Archangel]

whoa I actually really like this, dark, kinda demented, heartwrenching, perfect, makes me feel like it would make good song lyrics to be honest lol

[Speak in Silence]

Awe thank you! I was actually listening to a song called The hardest part by Being As An Ocean when the thoughts just starting coming to me. Thank you for reading and taking the time to review

[Tsukin Archangel]

ah maybe that's the reason lol, though then again maybe not, considering I almost always write with background music, occasionally working in bits of lyrics in them lol

[Speak in Silence]

I usually can't write with background music! It just confuses me lol but this time it seemed to have worked perfectly!

[Tsukin Archangel]

lol i tend to be unable to write without it lol

[Speak in Silence]

Well whatever keeps ya writing!

[Tsukin Archangel]

lol yep >;p