A Set

These were originally several individual poems, but as I was re-reading them before I posted them, I thought they looked good as a kind of...sequence. So I put them in one set. Sorry they're so long!

All the things I want..

All the things I want, all the things I need..

always seem to be just out of reach..

everything I try, and everything I do,

never bring it any closer.

Ever I try and I fail..

Always I fight, to no avail.

Does anyone even know the way things are?

I can only take things, and be pushed so far.

Most I know don't even seem to care..

Will I ever succeed? Will things ever pan out?

Can I ever escape this happiness drought?

If so, not alone, I've nowhere near the strength..

But then, that's a thing I need...a thing I want..

and those are all....out of reach.

Here I am at the edge..

I'm here at the edge.. tottering on the brink.

Looking for anything to hold on to.

Trying desperately to save myself, and looking for help.

A savior, a rescue, someone to support me.

Anything to pull myself back up. 

A breeze, a push, just a tiny slip, and I'll plummet.

I've let myself go so long, getting shoved back..

I can't do this alone..

So here I am at the edge.. looking for anything to hold on to.

I need someone, something, anything to pull me up.

My hands are thrown out, looking for something to grab... 

Tottering on the brink, looking for one last hope.

Soon now, something has to give. One way or the other...

this thing has to end... 

No matter what happens now...

this all has to end.

All that I have..

 

 

I'll be my own... all i have..

I'll be my own.. press on alone..

Through the dark..I'll just go on.

Depend on myself..be the lone wolf.

No more will I be a stepping stone.

So sick and tired, of clawing my way out,

only to have someone throw me back in.

What's the point, seems like everytime i try..

everything just gets worse. What is my fate?

Am I to be kind, to pour out my heart,

Only to have it thrown back in my face?

Why does everything I do just bring me pain?

How long will it take for me to learn.. 

That sorrow and hate are all that I earn.

Every act of kindness brings me cruelty two-fold..

so in the end.. i'll be on my own...

I'll be all I have...

I'll be my own..i'll press on alone..

through the darkness, i'll be the lone wolf..

I am.. all that I have.

Here in the shadows..

Here in the shadows.. hidden away..

 I'll sit and I'll watch... I'll hope and I'll pray..

I'll try all I can... to make you mine someday.

No other wish do I have so strong.

It helps me to continue.. to carry along.

Just holding to that, I'll wait and I'll watch..

Put myself back, into the darkness..

Stay away from all else, devoted to this..

Waiting so long...for that very first kiss...