~Long Time No See~

the X'z mean time has passed

I got up at the crack of dawn. As tired as I was, I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I put on my school uniform as I looked out the window…that’s when I saw him. Colonel Roy Mustang waiting for me outside my door. “Hey! Why keep a man of good looks waiting?” Mustang said. I put on my shoes and went outside of my apartment. “Hi Mustang. Sorry for making you wait. So, you think I can become a famous Alchemist?” I said as we both laughed. “Haha. Sure. If you put your skills to a good use.” He replied.

 

    We both walked to my school. “Irvine University huh?” Mustang asked. “Yea. I worked pretty hard to get in. Well see ya after 3^rd period okay.” I said. I waved to him and I went to homeroom. As you can tell… this isn’t just a school, this is a college.

 

    After homeroom we usually get to do whatever afterwards. I was walking towards track and field when I realized; 

 

Since I’m good at the long jump, I should try out for track and field.    

 

   I went to go sign up when I noticed that one of the flyers had a contest on it.

 

Hmm. A contest? If I happened to just win it... I could afford to send my mother the money she needs for the month. Plus: I’m not doing so well at work lately, maybe Mustang can help me out.

 

     I signed up as I turned around and saw Maaka. “Oh hello Maaka. I didn’t see you there.” I said. She looked up as her face turned brightly red. “Oh. H-h-hi. I’m sorry if I’m disturbing you.” She said. “Oh but…you aren’t. Come on, if you’re not busy later...wanna hang out or something?” I smiled as she nodded and agreed to meet up at my mother’s bakery.

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Maaka and I just came back from the university, and she as usual was quiet on the way home. I told her that she shouldn’t be quiet. “I mean it’s not like someone will kill you if they catch you talking Maaka. I love it when people talk to me. I like the silence too but, it’s just too awkward for me when someone is with me and not saying anything. So please don’t be afraid to speak to me.” She just looked at me with a blank expression on her face when I said that. “You mean you’ll… listen... to me?” she asked. I nodded and we walked to my mother’s bakery.

 

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     I got home at 9:00 p.m. I went to the fridge after I took off my shoes.

 

  Oh no. I ran out of food. Guess I’ll just stop to the grocery store.

 

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I arrived at the grocery store at 10:15 p.m. The clerk greeted me, when I noticed… “Um excuse me but... don’t I know you from somewhere?” the clerk asked. “Um I dunno. Do you?” I replied. The clerk had long light brown hair, beautiful blue eyes, perfectly pale skin...she was absolutely flawless. I had long black hair, dark brown eyes, a perfect tan, and I was flawless too but… this young lady. Seemed so familiar, I tried my best to remember her but, nothing came to my mind.

 

  A young man with dirty blonde hair (with his hair braided), golden eyes, and a nice tan walked in the store. “Edward? Edward Elric?” I asked. The young man looked at me, as he smiled. “So… Atheana-chan?” he asked. I smiled and the clerk asked “Ed, do you know her? Because she looks so familiar.” Edward came up to me and hugged me. “Hey! What happened to best friends forever! You ditcher.” He said as we both laughed. “Koda this is Atheana Toeto Dokuro. She used to be my best friend before you came along. You only got to see her once before she moved away.” Edward said. “Oh that’s right. You must be Koda Tucker. I’m so sorry I didn’t realize is was you. Forgive me?” I told Koda.

 

That day was magical. I met my best friend, from long ago. Now I’d have to say that, that truly was a miracle. I wish our friendship will never end.

 

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Reviews

[The Dudeman (Kenneth T)]

The plotline doesn't seem to flow very well, you are adding pieces that aren't really important to the story and are not justifying character's actions very well, such as with Maaka. You leave important things out that would make it much easier to understand.

[Kanattas Atir Enomo]

I'm going to have to agree with Kenneth. I just don't think this piece was very well-written. It was choppy in some places, and there were numerous descriptions that could have been left out. And, as Kenneth said, there were important details that were left out. I found myself confused by some of the wording, and irritated by some of the grammar. I also don't think the two lines of X's to be necessary. They are very distracting and take up unecessary space. you can do a lot better

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good chapter. I like how you set the story up. Nothing as good as finding good friends missed in a life. A very good chapter.
Coyote

[Emunah June.]

Yay! Me-ness! :D :D