For Us, Please?

You tell me you are depressed
and yah
I know you have a reason and the right
But do you ever think
I might be too?
Every morning is hard
Every breath hurts
Every nights more tears
Does that count as being depressed to you?
Everyday I regret
Everyday I want to hurt
to cut
to die
Does this mean I am depressed too?
Everytime you look at me
Everytime
I see the accusations
that dance behind your eyes
That I am a 
mistake
regret
w***e
liar
cheater
backstabber
pain bringer
heart breaker
you wish we never happened
because you wouldn't hurt so much everyday
You push me away because it pains you
to touch me thinking of what I've done

Have you ever thought that maybe
sometimes
I feel the same way?
That maybe thinking of you and her
what you wanted to do with her
do to her
hurts me
disgusts me
sickens me
But you know what?
I push through it
I ignore those thoughts
Because I know what it is like
to be pushed away by the person you love the most
I know how it tears you up inside 
And I know
I could say a lot of things
that dance on my tongue 
but you know what?
I refuse to spew words
born from anger
from jealous
from pain
because I know what it's like
to be alone at night
and turmoil 
over things you said
and wonder if you don't still feel those things
You know why?
because I don't want to f**k up what we have
because of s**t that happened before
I don't want to f**k up our future 
by hurting you more
So can we set aside the past
before we burn up our relationship?
Please?