White

Ode to Writer's Block

Somewhere out my window
Distant mountains symbolize
A feeling that I wish I had
Because contention with my life,
As odd as this may sound,
Only seems to come out white.

I'm not fishing for lonesomeness
As all of my intentions swarm
A manifest of perfection
Breaking from the social norm
I'm accustomed to with pen in hand
But since you're back, I've lost my form!

I guess I find it hard to understand
How I could make such a living out of
Feeling depressed, destroyed, deranged, deprived,
Searching for this long lost love,
When happiness seems to quench the fire,
A feeling that puts me above.

And so my body stares with threat
At a blank computer page,
Waiting for words to leave my head,
Waiting for players on the stage
To comply a show with words,
That I've strategically arranged.

But real life comes like sharpened swords,
Pouring to my blanking sight!
The laptop closes, days are longer
But inspiration fails to write,
And I can't seem to apprehend
The words that gather in my mind.

So because of you I can't amend
The words to thank you for the days
That we spent together as
They only seem to write cliches!
I'm not saying I'm not happy,
I just can't find the words to say.

-I'm saying that your presence is a joy
An inspiration to my life.
You fill my head with beautiful words
That form immaculate structures, pictures,
But when the words travel to my fingertips,
They seem to come out invisible.

Author's Note

Really its the last paragraph I'm not certain is necessary.

Reviews

[Aimee Mahathy]

I love this! "So because of you I can't amend
The words to thank you for the days
That we spent together as
They only seem to write cliches!"
That was perhaps the best, I think! I think a last stanza is needed as the one before it seems to end on a cliffhanger. It doesn't, technically, but I got the feeling that it did. Perhaps mess around with it a bit to figure out a better way to put it? However! The last two lines of the final stanza are perfect! Don't change those!

[theunionisloud]

There's an air of defensiveness throughout the whole poem. You're desperately trying to confirm your emotions without words, though it's proving to be difficult. It's a classic emotion that I think a lot of us can relate to... beautifully done!

And for the record, I love the last paragraph. There's an element of clarity that isn't necessarily present in the above stanzas (Though I LIKE that there's not clarity beforehand... it's a jumble of "i don't know, i don't know" leading up to the final "Hey! I love you and you just have to believe me.")

[Anamika]

true writers block is a pain i mean my lasted for almost 3 months till all of a sudden i start writing things . i really enjoyed your poetry its quite interesting

[Ruth]

Writing is as much hard as it is easy lol
This is stunning work love, a beautifully crafted piece of thought!
Inspiration is something that doesn't come easy at times, the last stanza is wonderful, I would leave it!
xx

[Magdelena]

I just read this Chickie!
Wow!! I must say you have a certain flair in your writing that jumps right off the page and straight into a persons mind. it captures all's senses and throws them around spiraling out of control.. Your imagery was sheer perfection and that last verse, heck it made the whole package me pal! Bravo.. clap clap , clap!

Mags xx

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Writing is not the easiest thing in the world...The idea comes, then the decision on what style, and then trying to put it all together...Great way of expressing the topic..Sunflower

[OT]

this is good!! And I'd say keep the last stanza it fits in well with the general structure/content of the poem!

[Athena Ramos]

your writing is so lovely!

"The laptop closes, days are longer
But inspiration fails to write,
And I can't seem to apprehend
The words that gather in my mind."

i've been feeling this for the past few weeks!! >.< wow!!!

[melissa]

very well written it flowed well. i liked it:)

[emmajoy]

There is some great phrasing in this, thoughts put so clearly, but I wonder if you read your work aloud. I get the feeling that you'd be great at free form, or prose poetry, if you prefer .. there's not need to get into the rhyming thing, especially when your thoughts and thoughts flow so freely as they have here.

Your final stanza has such romantic touch and yes, how hard it is to describe important feelings - you've done pretty well though.

[Kaela Craven]

You described the experience wonderfully...