Cloudburst

Something tore apart the clouds;
Was it you?
Were you proud?

Were it zephyr from the east
to make my zenith bloom?

Or perhaps you sighed beneath a tree,
soughing air so wistfully,
fleeing lungs and fleeing thee
to tear tear apart my sky.

A dove can form a tempest,
Though it isn't very likely.

But something tore apart those clouds.
I wish 'twas you.
I wish just how.

Reviews

[Matching Socks]

Your words are full of emotion and longing.
You're such a fabulous writer.

[RFDIII]

Thank you so much!

[Matching Socks]

You're welcome. :)

[Frieda P]

Brilliant imagery, yearning in the clouds

Were it zephyr from the east
to make my zenith bloom?

Excellent wistful read.

[Sami Khalil]

A most lovely write. Thank you for penning...:)

[Muse]

Enigmatic and electrical. So beautifully penned.

Or perhaps you sighed beneath a tree,
soughing air so wistfully,
fleeing lungs and fleeing thee
to tear tear apart my sky.

I must read more of you...

[Athera Rose]

Very beautifully worded, I love this poem
Every line was beautifully written but I love the first three lines the best, and I love how you used the words zephyr and zenith. Beautiful work.

[Tex]

this is a very mature and deep write. I loved it. it reads like one of the masters works. I loved it. The Imagery was spot on. I loved it. the picture is wonderful and adds to the effect of this little gem... did i mention... I loved it.

100/100 very nice write!

[RFDIII]

Thanks Nicholas, I'm flattered that you should think so!

I do have a question for you, how do you acquire so many readers?

[Tex]

I review a LOT. when you review some else's (sp?) work the system creates a nag for them to review your work ;-) a great system that... also as you get friends you can ask them to review, but don't over do that it can be annoying. the way I try to do it is... if I think I have a really good piece and I can see people are enjoying it only then do I ask my friends for a review.

[RFDIII]

Oh wow! Well I'd appreciate if you'd tell people about this one then if you like it. Thanks!

[Tex]

how many friends do you have?

[RFDIII]

13.

[Tex]

ok you can ask all of them at once... makes it easier...

[Wolfhilde]

This is beautiful written! I truly adore it.

"to tear tear apart my sky."

beautiful!