2083; Or, How to Ruin Everything for Everyone

2083; Or, How to Ruin Everything for Everyone

A Story by MondaineGarcon


The Year is 2083 and the white-girl booty is now facing total extinction. The problem, according to white-guy-with-black-girl (wgwbg) porn-star Trevor Ranchero in our exclusive interview, is that there has been too much butt-spanking of white females because they’re “such bad girls” and “obviously too much doggy-style sex.” Ranchero continues, “we’re all guilty of flattening the white-girl booty over the centuries, and I fear black girls are next. Soon all of the human females will have butts like Asian girls. Evolution can’t save us now. But science can!” 

Endangered since the 1900s because a fine white a*s was just irresistible, especially when spanking that pasty fat and making it blush, the white girl booty is now only a rare and elusive sight. Ranchero says that his anal-queen co-worker Kim Dine-and-Dashian and her clones were partly to blame. “The popular media sensationalizes the female body based on images of women in pornography films. She was in. She was hot. So all the girls wanted a booty just like hers. But too many guys ended up flattening them out from endless humping and spanking.” 

The Flattening, as it has been called on the Internet, is only part of a bigger story. The real problem according to sociologists was the generations of people born in the 1900s. Apparently they were sexually crazed monsters; open to “whatever”. They called themselves liberated but nearly all of the generation called Millennial had genital warts, otherwise known as HPV. Their so-called empowerment of females was merely sexual, and feminism was later discovered to be discrimination against females. These men born in that century just couldn’t resist some nice young fat booty. But they overdid it.

The problem went overlooked as white girls got butt-implants to hide the fact that they naturally had “pancake butts”; flat cheeks that only appeared delicious when syrup was poured all over them. There was even an enormous heist in Canada around 2011 to 2012 in which an entire warehouse of syrup was stolen, presumably to put on white girls’ booties. During the 2020s, men became outraged and wanted to take away women’s rights, which had obviously failed to do any good in society. “The average woman was coerced into working so much,” commented Ranchero, “that their bums lost weight. Women’s rights turned out to be a tragedy in the end. No pun intended. Now we must do everything possible to keep women overfed and lazy, and out of politics.” Ranchero shivered after saying this in the interview and when questioned about it all he said was “Hillary”.

Ranchero, who does philanthropic research on genetic booty-syndromes, has started a campaign to “heft-up” the white-girl booty once again. “In the 1900s it was taboo to talk about eugenics because some insane german guy didn’t want to share his big-bootied women, but we’re more educated now and we believe in sharing is caring, so I’ve figured out the perfect gene-splicing to give all women big butts.” When asked the secret, he answered, “it was in the HeLa strain all along. That woman has done more good for the world than Jesus. Oh, not Jesus Christ, Jesus Garcia, the first Mexican president of The United States after it collapsed because the Baby Boomers didn’t care about anyone but themselves and passed the worst legislations possible, and that’s when Mexico stepped in to run their country with humanity and no walls, and it’s been fabulous ever since! Which is to say that Mexican girls got booty.” 

When asked if he had any closing statements, Ranchero said, “it is our ethical imperative to preserve and sustain not just the white-girl booty but all female booties. Our economy must reflect this and value the female booty. If not, then the world will be in a global Cold War. We need to stop thinking about ourselves and start thinking about others. Every woman deserves to have a big butt, and all of our male children should have equal access to one. The solution is simple: fatten all females. Just not too much because we still want to have sex with them.” Sadly, Ranchero was raped to death by a gaggle of obese women shortly after this interview. According to the coroner, he died with a smile on his face.

© 2019 MondaineGarcon

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Just so you know, by the beginning of P3, I was howling so raucously, my sleeping dogs had to come out from under the quilt & check on me. This is orgasmically funny. This is so delightfully sacrilegious in lambasting every possible group of people on the planet (favorite: flat-assed asians & just saying: "Hillary!") This story helps me feel better about a story I just posted that's so f*****g ridiculous, nobody gets it, so nobody reviews it (except one guy telling me it makes no sense). I'm not saying my story is anywhere near as hilarious or well-crafted as this story here. Not that. I'm just saying this is so outrageous, it makes me feel more okay to write the outrageousness that I write. This is poetry to me, baby. It's a finely-tuned hotrod stripping gears as it plows over all that we are obligated to hold sacred in our fragile, about-to-explode social sensibilities these days! (I don't know what the f**k that meant either) Gawd, I enjoyed this! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

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1 Review
Added on October 12, 2019
Last Updated on October 12, 2019



i try to write everyday and to write about everyday things. I've actually been writing a lot in the exploitation genre lately. got caught up with John Waters and August Underground and all that te.. more..

Comedy Comedy

A Story by MondaineGarcon