collapsing star

distract me please, im begging

I'm covered in blood
my own or someone elses i cant tell.
my heart is racing, im light headed and im screaming to the point where my throat is raw, but nothing is coming out.
no one can hear me and no one is coming. 
my body is beginning to rot, from the inside out.
there is a fire starting at my feet.
You're holding the torch.
i can feel every sting, every time your tone changes i knew. even when it was written.
I accepted short answers, i learned your speech patterns.
your wish-wash mind set of the impending and all that is to come.
But if i go, will the guilt consume us both.
will we be changed forever.
if i go will i need to separate myself from you again..
you begged for my forgiveness last time
and i wonder if you would've done the same for her.
but then i suppose i never was very special to you.
id beg for a choice to be made, to be off this "will he wont he" scale.
but you never answer or your actions chose her for you.
so here we are again. with the torch in your hand.
my armor is gone. thrown aside and all i hear are screams of "witch".
i was a siren, who called out to you with purest intent but you chose the taste of vinegar over sugar every time.
what is your choice this time. and can you live with it.
you chose the title paladin, but you've only ever saved yourself.
this star is burning out, and before i can see your answer, my world goes dark.
who will save us now.