Chapter Ten

After returning to reality, Kenny attempts to still have a normal life.

Support and Decisions

      The room was spinning when Kenny came to, opening his eyes to find himself wrapped under his cover in his own bed with a cold compress on his forehead. A slight snoring turned his head over to the door and saw Christian, stretched out on two chairs facing each other, British flag hat covering his face while he sat up with his arms folded. It looked like he hadn’t changed clothes since the trip they had and Kenny then wondered what time it was. But before he could make any movement, he heard the door unlatch and he shut his eyes, pretending to be sleep still.

      “Hey, you can get up now.” Shawn’s voice said kindly.

      “Huh? Oh, is he still out?”

      “Yeah, it looks…like…it.”

      “Okay good, I’m glad-”

      “Look, here’s twenty dollars. Run down to the Jack in the Box on the corner and get me two Jumbo Jacks with cheese and whatever you want. Please.”

      “Uh…”

      “Thank you.”

      And then there was a light shuffle of hurried feet and the door closing.

      “How long have you been faking sleep?”

      Kenny grunted and sat up automatically defeated, catching the compress as it slumped off his head.

      “D****t. What gave it away?”

      “You’re eyes twitch to the side when you are faking it.”

      Kenny frowned, tossed the compress and rummaged through his covers for the digital clock that was wedged between the wall and mattress. It wasn’t in its normal spot.

      “What are you looking for?”

      “My clock. What time is it?”

      Shawn blankly stared at Kenny from the bedroom door.

      “What?” Kenny stopped and looked back when he noticed the silence in the room.

      “I think you mean to ask me, my dear comrade,” Shawn began to ease his way closer to his friend, “Not what the time is but more correctly what the day is.”

      “What the hell are you talking about?”

      Shawn had slouched down on the foot of the bed and shook his head in disbelief.

      “You’ve been out for two days.”

      Kenny was taken aback by the news and sat with a huge look of confusion on his face as Shawn looked out the window, nodded to himself, sprung to the door and whistled once down the hall. Moments later, the stairs squeaked from the patter of mass movement and then Tonya, Jerry, Junior and Teddy came trotting in the door, relieved and happy. They each took their own seat where they could in the almost empty room; Shawn stretched back down on the bed as Kenny kicked the covers off his legs, Teddy sat up against the wall by the door, Junior next to him, Jerry and Tonya taking the chairs Christian was sleep in while sitting in them backwards.

      No one said a word for a few moments until Kenny sighed heavily.

      “I don’t think anything will ever be the same between us,” he started.

      “I don’t follow.” Junior answered back. Kenny looked around the room at his group of friends with a grim face.

      “If I don’t fight this dark entity that’s after me then you guys, not to mention the world, would be killed in a gruesome way.” Kenny almost looked nauseated, “I am this Host of a soul full of the power of some Chaos being. And I…I’m so scared.”

      Shawn patted his calf and smiled.

      “We aren’t going to leave your side, Kenny. We’ve been friends too long.”

      “Right!” Teddy agreed, “I can’t speak for everyone but I really don’t understand what is really going on with you fully but all I know is that I have your back if you every need me, hun.”

      Kenny smiled.

      “I’m with Teddy,” Jerry added, “No demon or no spirit can break our bond we all share.”

      Everyone agreed by voice or nod.

      “Kenny, don’t ever feel like you are carrying this burden alone. Let us help you. Talk to us.” Tonya had moved between Shawn and Kenny as everyone had agreed with Jerry.

      “And be patient if we need help understanding but we got you, man.” Junior finished as Kenny smiled widen and he thanked everyone.

      “Christian told me you guys were the source of my power actually.”

      “Speaking of, do you know he would not leave your side the entire two days?!” Tonya cried while Shawn nodded.

      “Wouldn’t even let Malcolm stay up too late worrying about you. He moved the clock downstairs where Mal was sleeping so your brother wouldn’t oversleep for his flight back home.”

      “Mal left?” Kenny freaked, frantically looking for his cell phone.

      “He’s coming back!” Tonya exclaimed, holding her friend by the shoulders, “Said something about taking leave for you. Before the end of the month I think.”

      “Oh,” Kenny felt lifted from a sudden worry, “So Christian stayed here the entire two days?”

      “Yes, hunny, and he didn’t go home to change.” Teddy exclaimed.

      “At least he showered and his clothes just smell like he’s been outside camping,” Junior rebutted, “Do you know how many guys and girls I meet that don’t take personal hygiene seriously? I’m all for natural smelling people but there’s a fine line between a natural scent and body order.”

      “I think we can all agree on that.” Jerry added, “And I’m not sure what problems you guys face,” (he motioned toward Shawn, Kenny and Teddy) “but with females, god, some of them don’t wash their hoo-ha. Smells like the fish section in the supermarket.”

      “Vagina. Just say vagina.” Shawn remarked.

      “It really does,” Tonya added.

      “Oh, trust me we have our share of problems with guys not…” Kenny looked around for the correct word, “Cleaning themselves before sex.”

      “Not cleaning what?” Jerry questioned but Teddy placed his hand on his knee and shook his head.

      “You don’t want details.”

      They all fell quiet from a soft laughter as they heard another pair of footsteps coming up the steps and Christian walked in with a large bag from Jack in the Box and a small drink. He was flabbergasted at Kenny being awake and everyone in the room. He had his hat on backwards and his glasses looked new but the outfit was still the same from two days ago: khakis now dirty and a white t-shirt now dingy looking.

      Shawn had sprung up at the sight of his food and gratefully thanked him when he removed the two sandwiches. When he resumed his spot on the bed and began to eat, Tonya started sneaking pieces of food whenever he looked away.

      “Are-are you feeling okay?” Christian asked nervously to Kenny, standing around everyone now looking at him. Kenny, who had snuck food too, was nodding fervently while trying to swallow. Christian sat the bag down on the dresser and it gave off a muffled jingle.

      “Oh, your change is in the bag.”

      Shawn nodded an answer and waved him away before catching Tonya and Kenny sneaking food and popping both their hands.

      “I guess I should be going then,” Christian smiled politely before stepping over Teddy’s legs now blocking the doorway.

      “Why?” Junior asked.

      “Yeah, why?” Jerry chimed in, “Do we scare you or something?”

      “He wants to be alone with Kenny so they can…boom boom.” Teddy softly slurred before a few chuckles were heard.

      “Teddy, grow up.” Kenny said, “But, really, why are you leaving?”

      Christian was caught off guard with the questioning and began to question himself why he was leaving.

      “I just didn’t want to feel out of place, you know? I just met you guys and didn’t know-”

      “Okay, all I’m hearing is blah-blah excuses-excuses. Are you going to stay or nah?” Shawn swallowed and smacked Tonya’s hands again but missed and she popped a piece of burger in her mouth, smiling victoriously. All eyes were back on Christian now, who was halfway out the doorframe. He scanned the room for validation, sipped his drink from the red straw and shrugged in reluctance.

      “Great! There’s an empty chair!” Junior pointed to the chair Tonya left vacant.

      The conversation started with questions of Norway and how they got to the spiritual plane to which Christian answered most of them. Kenny tried to explain the views he saw and the spectacular smell of fresh air in Norway and became very hesitant in talking when it came to the meeting of the speaking personified light. The horrific and demonic images flashed before his eyes like he was seeing two planes at once and his heart skipped a few beats.

      He was grateful no one saw his reaction since everyone was focused on Christian’s story of the first attack they encountered. Kenny blushed whenever his Protector mentioned him as a strong handsome man. But shortly after, the conversation jumped on Halloween and what everyone was going to do and what everyone was going to wear.

      The Castro was the voted choice and the big celebration that happens there, gay and straight alike. Jerry called it a huge fraternity and sorority party all mixed together with costumes. To which he added he was going as Robin Hood while taking Alice around trick or treating with the sun up and Batman when he comes out with the group. Tonya was toying with the decision of going as Carmen Miranda in a fruit hat or as Jennifer Lopez in her green Oscar dress. She saw an exact replica of the dress at the novelty shop by her house. Jerry had asked her about Phoebe and Tonya pretended not to hear his question.

      Teddy knew he was going as Sailor Moon, outfit, wig, wand and tiara. Junior commented to walk far behind him and was met with a backhanded slap on his shoulder. He, on the other hand, had to be forced by everyone on what he was going as and finally, he confessed to The Green Lantern. Christian and Kenny both cheered simultaneously and blushed at their quick halt. Shawn broke the awkward tension when he took a vote on a Men in Black outfit, complete with sunglasses and flash pen or Shaft. The room unanimously voted for the former.

      Kenny had been going through so much in the last few weeks that he forgot the last time he talked about Halloween was with Christian in his old front yard. After his Protector confirmed his Superman costume, everyone eyed him for his answer.

      “I don’t really know,” Kenny scratched his forehead, “With the new power, my status, school and everything else I just forgot about it.”

      “I have a Roman Warrior outfit from a few years ago,” Shawn offered, “You’re not going to worm your way out of the first major party since you’ve been back.”

      Kenny smiled again and when he scanned the room, he saw only faces of support and love in his friends. But when his eyes met Christian’s smooth sad face, he softly frowned and looked away. He was touched that Christian would stay by his side without leave but he figured the words his Protector had been saying to him had some truth in it:

      It was only just his job.

 

      A few days past until Kenny felt fully like himself but he still went to school via Shawn dropping him off and picking him up, he still found time to study, attend Junior’s eighth grade Halloween assembly and began jogging Lake Merritt with Teddy. During one evening, Jerry accompanied him to a Reform synagogue named Congregation B’Nai Israel in San Francisco’s Dolores Park district, for an HIV support group.

      Only six men showed up and one woman with short dark hair and they all sat in a circle in the middle of the temple’s library, house by a large Star of David on the wall and the American and Israeli flag stood on each side it. Books on Hebrew learning, Torah Daily, Haftarah readings and Talmud study lined the shelves around the room. It looked like a mini public library but cleaner and less people to Kenny as he sat between Jerry and an overweight Mexican guy with brown hair. People kindly made conversation with Kenny before the meeting began and to his surprise, Jerry started talking to everyone.

      “Thank you all for coming. I know it took a lot of strength and courage to make it here tonight on a chilly Thursday evening. Baruch Haba!”

      “Shalom, Cantor!”

      Kenny’s eyes widen in surprise at the title he never knew his fraternity brother held in the synagogue. He knew he could sing very well but he didn’t know he did it professionally. Jerry smiled warmly at his friend as he continued.

      “We have new faces here today so I want to start with each of us introducing ourselves but there is no requirement to talking. You are free to sit silently if that’s what you prefer to do. I’ll go first.” Jerry stood up and stiffly waved toward the group, “Hello, everyone, I’m Cantor Edelstein, the stand-in cantor for this lovely temple until the beautiful Cantor Steinburg comes back from maternity leave.”

      Jerry smiled to the room and took his seat with the guy on his left standing up and introducing himself as simply Stan from Oakland. Then there was Al who has been a member since a child. After him was Daniel from Marin, Tracy who has been with her partner for a year, Elliott a Bay Area native and finishing with Travis who moved from San Diego a month ago.

      All eyes fell on Kenny as he slowly stood up and copied his friend’s stiff wave.

      “I’m Kenny, I guess I’m from the farthest being from Miami. I just found out I’m positive a few days ago and it’s kind of hard.”

      He suddenly fell silent, blushed and quickly took his seat as Jerry rubbed his back. It almost felt good to talk out loud around people he didn’t know that also had the same thing as he had. But his nerves were telling a different story. Jerry began talking about this week’s Torah Portion which talked about the creation of the world.

      “You see, I’m not Rabbi Alfi so don’t go asking me a bunch of questions but I know that from this one simple verse in the Torah that when Adonai made the creations of the sea and earth, God made them in God’s image which gives us hope and knowledge that we aren’t forgotten.”

      There was a collective hum and Kenny felt his spirit lift but he couldn’t help but hear Christian telling him that no one religion has it correct but they all have a good core to it: hope and redemption. That’s all he needed to look inside himself and understand that there was a definite evil swarming the darkest corner of the universe looking for him.

      Kenny felt it rushing in his veins and could hear the faint guttural noises transmitting from the darkness of space into his soul. He had to keep his hope that he was indeed a strong individual and needed to keep his focus on protecting everyone he loved. He swore to himself that night, while Daniel was talking about his recent doctor visit, that he was not going to let Dark-El get ahold of his soul seed.

      Only over his dead body. Which he was sure that was the plan for whoever was after him here in the present time but he couldn’t prove it. He would only see flashes of visions before his eyes of a tall dark woman, seductively calling his name, but it vanished as quickly as it came. One night as the storm clouds were gathering around the Bay, Kenny felt the same voice pulling at him again and it caused Christian to suddenly appear afar off. He told him about the voices and sudden images that flashed before him of a woman and it caused Christian to transport him home abruptly in the tunnel of fiery energy.

      Kenny cursed as he appeared in the kitchen, not realizing Shawn was standing in the hallway. He had tears around his eyes and was very astonished that Kenny was in his view.

      “Shawn, are…are you crying?”

      “Of course not!” Shawn disappeared into the hall as Kenny followed, noticing the picture of his family was placed down.

      “SHAWN TALK TO ME!”                 

      His friend suddenly stopped at the bottom of the stairs and fell onto the last step in a heavy huff. He looked up at Kenny and shook his head.

      “You complain about your parents a lot and how awful they treat you because you’re gay.” His voice was heavy with sorrow and anger, “But there are some of us who wish their parents didn’t give a s**t about them.”

      “What are you talking about? Of course your parents love you! Why would you want them not to?”

      “Loved.”

      Kenny was still rebutting about the situations being different but stopped suddenly in mid-sentence.

      “Your parents know you’re gay right?”

      Shawn cut his eyes and groaned a sigh.

      “Of course they know, er knew, because I never kept anything from them, unlike you who loved to throw it in your parents face that you were gay every chance you got.”

      Kenny’s head hurt and he felt himself fall on the step too.

      “Get to the point, please.”

      “They’re dead, Kenny. Both of them dead.”

      He couldn’t believe his ears.

      “Mr. Keith and Miss Kathy are….”

      “Yes, digbat. D-E-A-D. Dead.”

      “But…what….how?”

      “Right after you moved back to Florida with William, they came up mysteriously dead. There wasn’t a funeral and no one knows. Everyone thinks they are living overseas now. I wish I could talk to them, you know? I don’t care how you feel your parents treat you or talk to you however nasty, just call them. Even if it kills you, just do it. Even if it’s just once a week. If not for you, then how about for me?”

      Kenny sat speechless and his face looking down at the dusty floor.

      “I don’t mean to be an a*****e,” Shawn continued, “I just don’t know how to be no other way now. It keeps me from losing anyone else close to me and I am damn sure not about to lose you either.”

      He sprung into a hug around Kenny’s neck and sobbed softly. Kenny held his best friend and sighed internally, thinking of his entire family now. Making his heart grow larger in feeling and he felt a small flicker of flame ignite in the depths of his stomach.

      And he knew at that moment, without any unwavering doubt, what he was meant to do for the world, his friends and his family:

      Protect it at all cost.

      “You are ready.” A voice whispered inside Kenny’s head.

      “I am.”