A Story by Mr.Allegory

He couldn’t help but stare at the package of Magnum Ice-Cream he held in his hand. Who in their right mind would name a brand of ice-cream the same name as a condom size, he mused. The next thing you know, dairy products will stop calling it cream and just plain call it artificial nut. He could already see the commercials. Introducing Artificial Nut! Put it in your coffee! Put it in your tea! He burst into laughter at the thought, his baritone voice echoing in the silence of the freezer aisle. The woman who stood next to him examining frozen veggies jumps in surprise. She gives him a startled look that borders on annoyance.

“Can I help you?” He asks rhetorically and tosses the Ice-cream back into the freezer before shutting the frosted see-through door. Ice-cream just wouldn’t cut it. What he wanted is something liquid, sweet and full of high fructose corn syrup. Or, better yet, something naked, aroused and ready to dominate him. Right in the bathroom in the back of the store. His raging hormones were demanding the attention of his second brain. The truth is, he was horny. He wanted"needed release and no brand of Ice-cream could give that sort of pleasure. Or so he thought. He glances over at the Magnum ice-cream in curiosity, for a split second considering opening it up and experimenting with it right then and there, to Just spread himself across the floor of the aisle.

© 2012 Mr.Allegory

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Uuuuuhhhhh............................................. You are like a fortune cookie, or a gumball machine--I never know what I'm going to get with you. Okay, well maybe the gumball machine is a bad example as one knows what is in a gumball machine--gumballs--but then again, one is never sure of the colour the gumball one receives from the machine will be. And your titles never give it away. So far I've gotten adorable poems, a horror story, a story involving death, and a sexual vignette.

Posted 10 Years Ago

I enjoyed the irreverent tone of this piece, and I loved following along to the narrator's train of thought. I think the last sentence is great, and would love to have it end at "aisle"--that would make it that much more tantalizing to the reader. Good job!

Posted 11 Years Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on March 16, 2012
Last Updated on March 29, 2012
Tags: Ice-cream, store, funny, short, story, short story, mature, humor, comedy, muse, thoughts, unimportant, blah, blegh



Lancaster, CA

I'm another Human who tends to stray off into the world of the imagination~ more..

~Bakery~ ~Bakery~

A Poem by Mr.Allegory

~Water~ ~Water~

A Poem by Mr.Allegory