Rain

Rain

A Poem by Muhammad

Dripping, dropping, down through the leaves
Painting, pictures, sounds in my dreams
Drops pouring through the door by the gust of a wind
They want it to stop but I insist that it sings

© 2022 Muhammad


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Featured Review

I like your use of onomonopia in the first line. I think that device, coupled with the imagery of the drops actually falling is a nice touch. I would however rework line two to read "Drops pouring through the door by a gust of wind." It would be a subtly change, but I think that this may smooth the flow of the piece overall.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is awesome!! Your first attempt you say? Well my friend, high-five!!

Wonderful write!!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like your use of onomonopia in the first line. I think that device, coupled with the imagery of the drops actually falling is a nice touch. I would however rework line two to read "Drops pouring through the door by a gust of wind." It would be a subtly change, but I think that this may smooth the flow of the piece overall.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Interesting, very interesting. I myself am a rain lover and I feel as if you have imbodied the spirit of the rain. Very good work! I'm not sure about the last line though...

Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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288 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on October 31, 2009
Last Updated on July 23, 2022

Author

Muhammad
Muhammad

VA



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I like giving people a different point of view with whatever I write. more..

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