Breakdown

Breakdown

photography by / Stefan Beutler

 

 

Every morning

cold cereal and orange juice

        for breakfast…

don’t forget  to water the African violet on the sill

in the kitchen window .

 

Feed the cats, walk the dog.

Separate the colors before washing clothes.

Take something from the freezer

           that’ll thaw  in time for dinner.

…such ordinary things to remember.

 

  Dance recital dates are on the calendar.

The girls wear a pink ribbon in their hair.

 The bake sales at church will start in the spring.

Let Father Walsh know he can count on you…

 cake or cookies is fine

…dress the boys in their Sunday best.

 

Be patient, be strong.

Remember that God helps those who help themselves.

Take one day at a time,

one foot in front of the other.

…just like yesterday and the day before.

 

Fall to your knees

when you’re all out of prayer…

…when you’re all out of prayer

    breakdown.

 

                            

Author's Note

This was written to capture the aftermath of a man dealing with the struggles of everyday life after losing his wife. What you are reading is what he hears in his head, it’s his wife’s voice reminding him of what to do and what’s to come. The lines in italics speak his response.

Reviews

[Vol]

Kelly,
What a lovely account! I am touched because of the note and the poignancy of how powerful the little things can be. It is a common theme you have dressed in beautiful clothes. They are, after all, what make us, the accumulated actions of the day punctuated by bits of tragedy, bits of beauty, and bits of careful thought which, taken together, make something as simple as taking supper from the freezer to thaw, a meaningful act.
Nicely done!
Vol

[Dave Brown]

An extremely difficult concept
I don't mean to belittle this at all but even losing the dogs I have loved has been extremely heartbreaking
Losing that special person would be too difficult to comprehend

[Kelly Scheppers]

I overwhelmingly agree, Dave! Losing a pet is just as devastating a loss as any other. And for those who don't have a dog or cat, how could they possibly comprehend the void that loss leaves? Thank you for bringing that into perspective here.

[Ted Kniffen]

Losing someone that close is impossible to consider ... you have taken a look at the other side of loss Kelly ... the one left behind struggling to cope and too maintain a calm façade for the children.

Well done.

[Kelly Scheppers]

I know men process grief differently. I witnessed my step father and two adult brothers when my mom died, and it's something I'll never forget. I may have only touched upon the magnitude of the the struggle, but all the same, I deeply appreciate your every word. Thank you, Ted!

[Neville]

say it like it is why don'tcha and like it always was and maybe always shall be .. there certainly is a lot more to this than first meets the eye .. indeed, I think it is very cerebral and your informative authors note beautifully complemented my own impression .. N :)

[Kelly Scheppers]

Your presence here is a compliment in itself. Thank you, Nev!

[Coyote Poetry]

I made the good years. The grandchildren are dropped off and picked up. Dear Kelly, I raised-up four children and now. I have six grandchildren. Your poem. I knew them days for 25 years.
"Fall to your knees
when you’re all out of prayer…
…when you’re all out of prayer
breakdown."
The above lines. I did and thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Kelly Scheppers]

I once read that a house full of love has elastic walls. Four children and six grandchildren! That's an extraordinary life!

[Coyote Poetry]

They still keep me busy dear Kelly. We need to be busy.

[Seriana]

I am glad I did not read your note before I read the poem. It was nice to interpret the pain first. I sensed a female voice initially, but didn't realize the italics were a response.

Such ordinary words filled with anguish. Life does not stop, nor do the calendars and multitude of things to do, the ordinary (and extraordinary) upon a loss. Thank you for the reminder of "things". I have taken my own gold nugget from your writing today.

[Kelly Scheppers]

What a pleasure it is for me, knowing that something I wrote may have been an inspiration to you! Thank you, Seriana!

[Perdition]

"Take the cats out of the freezer, feed the colors, and separate the walking dogs"...I got it!
Sorry, I couldn't help myself, this is wonderful, such a touching and beautiful tribute to what must be a daily pain for this poor man. To live a life with this woman is rare enough but to continue to hear and live with her after her passing, well, that is a rare romance and love that we just don't see anymore. I was fortunate to have witnessed two people that are perfect in balance for each other and where one has humor the other has a genius that makes no sense at all so she wants to kill him quite often but that's her guy and he must have a plan. Fortunately, I came along to lighten the mood and so no one got hurt in the end, or as of yet. I envy the love and the hearing of her voice and for following her rituals as it must help him immensely to feel her presence there as I am certain she must still be watching over ..if not in his head alone. The only question I would have is whether it is driving him to drink..lol. You never know. But this is passion and pain at its best and a wonderful gift Kelly. "Don't forget to water the cookies in the kitchen"..yep I got it...Smiles~

[Kelly Scheppers]

It feels a little insane to be laughing through some of this, but in a twisted way, you made room for a smile to break through. That's life as we know it. Thank you, Joseph!

[Perdition]

All pain must be rendered and tempered and balanced with perception and not knowing this man I could only experience his thoughts thru your words so heavenly crafted….a pleasure to see and read Kelly! No disrespect intended if any should feel. You are absolutely welcome as it is a wonderful gift and poem~

[Kelly Scheppers]

Joseph, I laughed at your opening line and the closing line myself, that's what I meant by a smile breaking through the irony of it. Please know it was not taken as any disrespect on your part!

[Perdition]

lol...I didn't..I wouldn't...just got to wondering after years of knowing this and that, I just wanted to make sure no one perceived any differently... thanks, Kelly!

[Brad Dehler]

"When you are all out of prayer". Very powerful ending. Very good, empowering and enlightening about the supposed mundane.
Upon reading your author's note, I get a whole other impression and inspiration. I love the italicized response. Well composed

[Kelly Scheppers]

I'm glad you liked my thought process behind the use of italics. Thank you, Brad!

[duff]

A perspective well drawn out. Emotionally represented on both sides. Its beautifully creative and its not forgotten.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Thank you, Duff.

[Franky]

This is excellent. Very well written, as well.as nearly making me break down. Very good!

[Kelly Scheppers]

Thank you so much, Frankie. Good to see you!