Blood and Mascara Tears

Yes, this is true.

So you see, I can't believe this.
This pain I've dealt with,
has left me to wonder
whether any of it was true.
You say we can be friends,
yes I believe so too,
yet there's a problem with you,
you don't know how.
My childhood best friend,
why did you betray me so?
When our love has been pure,
for quite some time.
I've started to question
every word you ever said
due to the fact that it was easy enough for you
to walk away, to break my heart.
These pieces you've left
will no longer welcome you,
for the pain was much too real,
worse than when you almost died.
That night, out at the lake, yeah
you know the one,
when you held me, kept me warm,
kissed me the way you did for so many years.
Was that night, one of my best,
played out the way you intended?
Did you want me like you said, was my heart your toy,
or were you out for fun before you left me shattered?
You see, here's where you went wrong.
You thought I'd handle it well.
Do you remember what you asked of me?
The deed you never thought I would be able to do?
Well, you fucked up. You know what?
I did do it.
How does it feel knowing you are the reason I did?
The steak knife in the kitchen, I took it, I cut my wrist.
The blood that welled,
was an unknown pleasure that I didn't think would help,
but I was wrong, oh how I was wrong my "lifelong" friend,
it worked wonders.
Oh yeah, that migraine I had,
you know, from crying my eyes and heart out,
never left, never died away.
It's there with the memory of that night.
The stain on my satin pillow,
the mixture of blood and mascara tears,
is just a silent reminder of how you, my "love"
used, and lost the one person who always
Cared.

Author's Note

Yes, this is true, every word. But don't judge me.

Reviews

[Cassi M.]

At first I was going to say that it felt so real that it was like you had experienced this. Then I read the author's note, and it proved to me that it was real. Anyways, it's obvious that these words mean a lot to you and this poem has an incredible amount of voice. Everytime I read it I hear a heartbroken woman telling this story. Very good job, as usual.

[Matthew Kult]

Hello Lunae,

Been there, have the scar to prove it. Might be why I am so fucked up....hmm don't know. I love it, I love the emotion. The tragedy. The truth....I love the truth the most, cause truth is pain.

regards,

Matthew

[nono]

So long, but I love it there is nothing better than writing the truth of ones experience's. Good job! I absolutely love it! You did a fantastic job!

[David W Moore III]

Obviously powerful from an emotional stance. You can't get any more fundamental and personal. I have had no personal experience from cutting but have been on the precipous of suicide before, so I feel your pain. Know that it does numb a little over time (if this was recent) I like the imagery and especially the title line (in a poetic way) thank you for sharing with us. And I hope it is as cathartic for you as my writing is for me.

[Adelia Alighieri]

This is very beautifully written. Great emotions, impeccable truths.

[Ima]

i am sorry to hear that its true ... but it is an amazing write !! keep up the good work =)

[Snickers]

This made me cry, it was wonderful. Why would someone use such wonderful love someone gave? They are just general B******s that think they can do what ever they want. Don't worry about it sister, you can get through it I did, I cut to but found someone who helped me stop. You will find someone new, they always do, just as I have, my mother has, my father has, my step dad has, my step mom has, my friend has, etc. We will always find someone new to help heal those wounds that have been ripped in our hearts. So you see we are what we are and no body shall judge anybody if they do they are just jealous. ;) If you need anybody to talk to I am here.
Black Raven

[zendikar]

I'm sorry to hear this with luck you will have learned a lesson and with more luck you will be able to trust again my fiance Jenn the one you asked about seems to have had many the same problems as you if you have not yet spoken to her maybe you should! maybe she can help and if you ever need a pick me up I have plenty a corny joke to tell! you can always trust a duck unless of course you're being untrustworthy yourself!

[little lily Bride of Ch..]

very Powerful sorry you had to go through this Hon life is never easy and we make missakes in life but does'nt mean we are a bad person. I hope time has healed you some times that can take years thank you for sharing i won't judge you have a beautiful heart love this story makes me cry i see you have a bleeding heart also and many have been though much pain in times of their lifes.

[R E Tree]

So many questions to ask. Each line is full of thought and emotion. Poetry is a good way of expressing how you feel and letting it all out. Everyone can relate to fall outs and there is many of us out there that don't know what the fall out was even about. That happens to me most of time. I recently met someone they said they liked me and then they don't speak to me in weeks. Until I spoke to them and my response back is that I have been used. I think you did a great job at this. You should keep writing

[rainshadow]

I like it :D and I wont judge you! thisis an expression you cant judge that lol but this is really good keep it up :D