D.E.A.L

We all find ourselves in hard times, and it shapes us differently. It's either we learn how to deal and become stable, or do not and end up otherwise. This is the viewpoint of the former.

When I found that two people who're closest to me,
Brother and mother,
Had mental and physical illnesses that can never,
In all my life, be healed,
I deal.

When I'm mocked about my tears pouring
Because I felt alone,
Unsafe, in a new environment
I was suddenly forced to adapt to,
I deal.

When the fact friends don't come easily, and they didn't,
Because just one mistake
that you may not even know you made
Could break the bond forever, dawns on me,
I deal.

I dealt, but I could never heal.

As a friend I care for
Says something of another friend
Because they find the other dislikeable
Out of all things they are likeable,
I deal.

As to this day, I find my ideas
Ignored or blatantly rejected,
And I'm reminded why I closed myself off,
Never to share my feelings or ideas again,
I deal.

As I look at you, and you look in distaste
Of whatever I'd like to have,
Because my style goes against yours,
And you prevent me from having that one thing,
I deal.

As I find myself
Torn between two people
Who can't get along
Even though I know they could, if they just try,
I deal.

As I realize a friend
Doesn't even realize that they think of nothing but themselves,
Thinking it's their way or the highway,
But I don't risk losing them after so many years together,
I deal.

I deal, but I can never heal.

When I find that my ideas are still rejected,
That my voice is still not heard,
Even though you know
It will help,
I deal.

When you realize that you've caused me
To bare such scars that will fade,
But not completely disappear,
And you find it's too late to help me heal,
I deal.

When you are arrogant, ignorant,
Weak, alone, and old,
With no one to help, no one to lean on,
And wonder why you are this way,
I will say "Because you never deal."

I will deal, but I will never heal.

I deal left and right, whether you see it or not,
And I take a burden on my shoulders,
So I can't share the pain I've had,
Until I've snapped, like I have now,
When I realize I deal for everyone,
I put up with everything,
And I realize that I've done something to myself that can never be reversed.

But I will continue to deal,
As now it's my way of life,
So that everyone will see the scars that they've caused,
Whether they wanted to or not,
And I may prove stronger
Than you will ever be
Because I can deal
While you just prevent me to heal.

Author's Note

If I have anything that doesn't make sense, then kindly notify me; also, I'd like to see what you think of it; it's a somewhat personal poem and I thought it might've reeked of too much emotion and anger. I dunno.

Reviews

[Michelle Grayson]

For it's layout and overall flow, I thought it was perfect. It tells us a story of the trials one faces against things that seem to be un-movable in the life that we have had placed upon our path. I've can't relate to being the one that holds things together while other people are unable to see. But I understand the pressure that must be felt.
I think there comes a point in life however, that we simply have to let those ropes we've been hold for others drop and grab the one that's our to climb up to the next level of our life. While it may be on the surface good and sacrificing of ourself to aid them... We really aren't helping them grow and are only holding ourselves back.

A very well written poem Stasia! Makes one think a whole bunch.

Tawnee

[Coyote Poetry]

It does make sense. Your poem show what we can handle with the hands we are deals. I like the set-up and flow of your story. Life does seem hard and we must be become stronger. A excellent poem.
Coyote