Be Still, My Aching Heart

Be Still, My Aching Heart

A Poem by MusicLove93
"

Lost love

"

Be still my aching heart,

For, we must live with her and I apart.

Be still my wandering mind,

There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.

 

She came into my life and filled it with light,

And as quick as she came, she was gone, out of sight.

I wonder if she even knew that I could have been hers

Every time she came near, oh how butterflies started to stir.

 

Be still my aching heart,

For, we must live with her and I apart.

Be still my wandering mind,

There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.

 

Her lips, so seductively red, made me melt

I wish, just once, I could have known how she felt.

Her beautiful eyes pierced right through my heart.

She made me feel pretty, but now I’m just torn apart.

 

Be still my aching heart,

For, we must live with her and I apart.

Be still my wandering mind,

There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.

 

So please, just be still for me now...

© 2012 MusicLove93


Author's Note

MusicLove93
Not my best work, but don't be shy about leaving me some reviews!

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Featured Review

Be still my aching heart,
For, we must live with her and I apart.
Be still my wandering mind,
There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.
 
So please, just be still for me now...


Romance at his best your words flawless over all simply brilliance...

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

What I do when I have a piece I'm unsure about, I set it aside and work on another. I'll go back to it eventually and rewrite it, reformat it, or tweak it at my leisure. Sometimes I'll find various renditions of the same poem and usually I choose the one that I like the best and go with that.

As for this piece, stand-alone its beautiful. I can sense the yearning and desire for the object of affection. It actually reminds me of a mix between when my fiance was deployed to Afghanistan and the time back in high school when I yearned for him but never thought I had a snowball's chance in hell in dating him. Oddly enough, he felt the same way about me back then lol.

I especially love the conversation toward the end with your heart. 'Be still my aching heart, for we must live with her and I apart.' The mind and heart depicted as sentient separate entities really brings this poem to life. Beautifully written.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Be still my aching heart,
For, we must live with her and I apart.
Be still my wandering mind,
There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.
 
So please, just be still for me now...


Romance at his best your words flawless over all simply brilliance...

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Not your best, you say? I haven't read anymore but this is gut wrenching and makes me stop in my tracks. I am a fan of your style and I must say that you have a natural talent.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MusicLove93

6 Years Ago

Well thank you, I'm glad you like it(:
Beautiful and bittersweet... This was a nicely flowing poem that I actually read twice! Bittersweet and marvelous. Maika'i no, great job!!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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EMF
If this isn't your best work, I've been away too long from reading you. I personally found it faultless, but I know little of poetry. I simply became lost in the work. As I do with good writing. Stunningly good. Truly beautiful

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MusicLove93

6 Years Ago

Lol well thank you!
its simple and yet very beautifully written. I love it. Thx

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i love it but perhaps because i have one similar! also my heart is aching... but yeah raw emotion nice job :-)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It flows well, but to help the flow a bit, I'd change the last line in the second stanza to"...how butterflies began to stir." Very good rhymes. Conveys your feelings succinctly.


Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautifully done :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Pax
i like the rhyme. it fits and flows very well.
beautifully sad poem.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on August 8, 2012
Last Updated on August 8, 2012

Author

MusicLove93
MusicLove93

Jefferson, OR



About
I've never really shared my writing with many people, never thought I was really any good I guess. But, I love writing and have been writing for forever. That and music and art are my passions. You wo.. more..

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