Be Still, My Aching Heart

Be Still, My Aching Heart

A Poem by MusicLove93
"

Lost love

"

Be still my aching heart,

For, we must live with her and I apart.

Be still my wandering mind,

There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.

 

She came into my life and filled it with light,

And as quick as she came, she was gone, out of sight.

I wonder if she even knew that I could have been hers

Every time she came near, oh how butterflies started to stir.

 

Be still my aching heart,

For, we must live with her and I apart.

Be still my wandering mind,

There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.

 

Her lips, so seductively red, made me melt

I wish, just once, I could have known how she felt.

Her beautiful eyes pierced right through my heart.

She made me feel pretty, but now I’m just torn apart.

 

Be still my aching heart,

For, we must live with her and I apart.

Be still my wandering mind,

There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.

 

So please, just be still for me now...

© 2012 MusicLove93


Author's Note

MusicLove93
Not my best work, but don't be shy about leaving me some reviews!

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Featured Review

Be still my aching heart,
For, we must live with her and I apart.
Be still my wandering mind,
There’s no point, she won’t ever be mine.
 
So please, just be still for me now...


Romance at his best your words flawless over all simply brilliance...

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

That was soooo great.. I reallt really loved it...
So awesome.. Keep it up :))

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MusicLove93

7 Years Ago

Thank you(:
Hi 93... this was great. I wish I could express how this made me feel. The only words that came to me were the ones said to me.... "for all the years we will be apart, I love you."

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MusicLove93

7 Years Ago

Thank you(: I'm glad my writing can instill such feelings in others!
wow....excellent piece...
unrequited love is very evident in the poem....thank you so much for sharing..I really enjoyed it..:)


Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MusicLove93

7 Years Ago

Thank you(: And you are quite welcome(:
Beautifully sad. I love it. Can deeply relate.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MusicLove93

7 Years Ago

Thank you(:
Beautiful poem, amazingly penned! Great write!!!


Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MusicLove93

7 Years Ago

Thank you(:
Great poem! Love the repetition!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MusicLove93

7 Years Ago

Thank you(:
wow so beautiful and deep ...well done

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MusicLove93

7 Years Ago

Thank you(:
I love this! It's so beautiful! (: Excellent job!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MusicLove93

7 Years Ago

Thank you(:
That1Nerd23

7 Years Ago

You are welcome! (:
An honest, pure, heartfelt poem. Beautifully written. Excellent work

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MusicLove93

7 Years Ago

Thank you(:
Good to hear from you! I think this is a solid piece. I am particularly fond of the flow of the 4th stanza (or 2nd verse, as it does feel like a song). ;-) Additionally, I appreciate the placement of the last line.

My only criticism, which is meant to be entirely constructive (which I rarely add out of fear of being taken otherwise): I think rythymically speaking, the last line of the 2nd stanza (or 1st verse) might read better like "...oh how butterflies did stir.", or "...oh how butterflies stirred."

I only hope to be helpful. If I didn't like the piece, I wouldn't bother, so this is with much respect.

Thanks so much for sharing! Xo.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MusicLove93

7 Years Ago

Thank you(: I will take a look at the last line of verse one and I might make some changes(:

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Added on August 8, 2012
Last Updated on August 8, 2012

Author

MusicLove93
MusicLove93

Jefferson, OR



About
I've never really shared my writing with many people, never thought I was really any good I guess. But, I love writing and have been writing for forever. That and music and art are my passions. You wo.. more..

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