I (love/hate/miss/resent) You

When you said we were done

I initially was angry because

I wanted to hate you so badly

but I only loved you.

A few days later,

I realize that, though I do love you

more than anything,

A part of me also resents you.

And maybe my anger was not,

In fact, because I couldn't hate you,

but because I knew a part of me does

and all I want to do is love you.

The last time you asked if I hated you for ending it;

I couldn't, because I understood.

But this time, you didn't ask

you didn't care

and I'm not sorry that I wasn't good enough,

because you're the one who couldn't handle the distance.

let your cravings and desires

override a love

to where you couldn't even feel it anymore

I wish I could understand,

but I cant.

And I resent you for hurting me this way.

At least before I knew you still loved me,

now I couldn't even tell you liked me.

Enjoy your freedom and experience 

while I'm trapped as a prisoner

to my own mind.

The dreams of you continue and

waking up hurts more than I can explain.

But I love you.

And, unfortunately, that will never change.