The Most Comfortable Pillow In The World

Steve took his sexy pillow home to his house. It was noticeably no longer glowing as bright as the sun. It was glowing like a dim refrigerator light. He put it on his Value Village bed, on top of his Goodwill sheets. And he made his way over to his brand new Alienware gaming computer.

"I'mma call some women over from Craigslist."

But something was drawing Steve to the bed. He felt compelled to go to sleep, even though he didn't have a job and got fifteen hours of rest every night.  He had to lay down. So he did. He put his well-rested unemployed body on his Goodwill sheets. He put his head on his sexy new pillow. And it felt amazing. Steve started moaning. The pillow felt like a million soft sheep were supporting his neck. It felt like he was in heaven getting a head massage from Saint Peter. It felt like he was resting his head in the breasts of Taylor Swift.

"F**k yeah.", Steve said. "I'm about to sleep like a m**********r."

Steve was about to drift off like a m**********r, when he heard a knock on his house (not really a house, but a storage unit behind a gas station because he was unemployed and couldn't afford rent) door.

"F**k off, I'm trying to sleep like a m**********r." Steve grabbed the pillow and rubbed it onto his neck, like a m**********r.

But the knocks got louder. So Steve got up from his bed and opened up his storage unit door. It was the police!