Echos

Echos

A Poem by Nankoto
"

What a vent song. It felt so good to get this down on paper. The chorus of it I came up with in the shower, haha.

"

I remember when we first met

You looked like the embodiment of perfect

In every which way

What happened to you

Because I just don't see it anymore

 

You left me with scars deep inside

Where the truth cannot hide

I fell through your shadow

Down

Down

Down to the ground

Look at the blank page before me

Filled in with lies

Lies for the future

And lies from the past

 

Now you've turned into something grotesque

Something like a monster

I can't believe what you've done

It's like an arrow through my heart

A jagged knife stuck on the bone

 

You left me with scars deep inside

Where the truth cannot hide

I fell through your shadow

Down

Down

Down to the ground

Look at the blank page before me

Filled in with lies

Lies for the future

And lies from the past

 

You put your life in my hands

When you told me this secret

What do I do?

What choices do I have?

Should I end it tonight?

One shot could do it

Into your heart

All that is left Is the echo of your words!!!!!!!

 

You left me with scars Scars deep inside

© 2008 Nankoto


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Interesting piece. [So many distractions before so I couldn't get it back that second]. I think what you meant to say in line 2 was "embodiment of perfection". The chorus seems very well-developed, brushing on a few concrete images. The other stanzas could be elaborated on, like in the 3rd, you can play with the description of the monster and even in the 1st to explain the "embodiment of perfection". This is pretty good as it stands now but it has a lot of unseen potential. Keep it up, miss reading your stuff btw. ^_^

Silent Always

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

WoW! Now this was an excellent song. I really liked it a lot. The lies that people create are so evil, and they make u wanna die. Excellent job with this!

B.A.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wow....i LOVE this!!!!!!!!! =]]]]]]]]]]

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

the person this has been written about has been hurt deeply by someone....filling there lives with lies and deciet. A great poem!


Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Interesting piece. [So many distractions before so I couldn't get it back that second]. I think what you meant to say in line 2 was "embodiment of perfection". The chorus seems very well-developed, brushing on a few concrete images. The other stanzas could be elaborated on, like in the 3rd, you can play with the description of the monster and even in the 1st to explain the "embodiment of perfection". This is pretty good as it stands now but it has a lot of unseen potential. Keep it up, miss reading your stuff btw. ^_^

Silent Always

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Great job dude. like the flow and word usage but i feel that you held back some. keep up the good work

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

225 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on February 14, 2008
Last Updated on February 14, 2008

Author

Nankoto
Nankoto

IA



About
Been away for a long time. more..

Writing
Exhibit A Exhibit A

A Poem by Nankoto


Masks Masks

A Poem by Nankoto


Alone Alone

A Poem by Nankoto



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Buttercup Buttercup

A Poem by Gary H