Service With a Smile

I've been in sales/customer service for over a decade now. The word "customer" makes my skin crawl. In general, they're rude, obnoxious, demanding, and childish little creatures.

Standing here eye to eye

Your mouth is moving

I assume words are coming out

But I have no idea what the f**k you're saying.

 

I nod my head in obligatory agreement

as if I am listening

fake smile every now and then

to make you think I care.

 

but in my head...

 

ha hA HAAAAA MOTHER F****R!!!!!

blood spews from your neck

from the gash I just put in that b***h

It's like a big red smile

as artificial as mine

 

but I can't.

Some threads of social restraint and all...

 

Still chatting

Talking away about whatever.

I just heard something about this or that

I think I managed a chuckle once or twice

 

Then the haze in my eyes comes back...

 

That empty look you gave me while you spoke

I took that as just stupidity.

Wasted air on your sorry a*s.

Those f*****g sticks look marvelous!!!

Coming from your eyes

 

I pulled them from the fire you know.

Just for you

And I STUCK THEM IN

 

HA HA HA HAAAAAAA!!!!

And they're wood so they burn from the fire

and the splinters f*****g hurt when you try to pull them out

DON'T THEY!?!?!

 

Sigh.... oh but what trouble I'd be in

I'd better not

 

"Oh really?" I asked

Responding to some nonsensical bullshit you just vomitted

I almost hope you ask me to repeat something back to you

Just so I'm "called out"

The look of disappointment on your face

as you realize

I don't give a s**t

 

But you won't

You're not astute enough to even notice

 

But I wonder...

 

Would you notice if I tied you up

and shaved off our n*****s?

and then sewed the little fuckers on your eyes!!!

Oh it HUUUUURTS!

HAHA

 

You want to cry

but the tears just fill up

You have to milk your new n****e-eyes

HA!! N****E-EYES!!!

to relieve the pressure

 

But as you squeeze your tears from your nips

trying to rid the pain

I've shoved you in your car

doused it with gasoline

lit a homemade cigarette

with a match from a cheap motel

set your interior ablaze

and the pushed that b***h off a bridge into an empty river bed.

 

BOOOM!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

 

Nah...

 

Instead, we shake hands and part ways.

Never seen you before

Never see you again

Had a nice little chat, you and I

"Have a nice day!"

 

"Hi, I can help the next customer!"

 

f**k off

 

Reviews

[Dee Frazier]

bahahahaha I agree, just the other day, someone got all pissy. I said policy is blah blah blah. but cant you just take this or take that. nope I cannot. whose your mananger I hear and then I-YES I get in trouble because this A WHOLE didn't have enough money to pay for their gasoline...(I have worked full service restaurant as well as fast food. AND cashier at other places besides just this place).