The River

Nature's Wonder...

                                    

                                           Rising from the hills

                                           Gurgling down the slopes

                                           Rumbling through the meadows

                                           The River flows.

 

                                           Clear as a crystal

                                           Sparkling like a diamond

                                          Great as a goddess 

                                          The River flows.

 

                                          Humming tunes sweet

                                         Caressing over pebbles

                                         Rejuvenating precious lives

                                         The River flows.

Author's Note

Rivers protect, enchant, nurture...
But these days they are mercilessly polluted.
People ought to protect them.
If the present state continues, humanity will live dead!
So, gear up to protect our lifelines!

Reviews

[Jessica Lima]

My favorite stanza was definitely the first one. There was something magical about it. The rest was okay but the rhyme scheme was lost...

Thanks for sharing

[Zephyr]

Always welcome Jessica:)
I agree about the rhyme scheme and I too liked the first stanza:)

[emipoemi]

I second this review. Took the words right out of my mouth. However, it wasn't the rhyme scheme that was lost, rather the musicality was. For the refrain is essentially the main beats of the poem, so there wasn't necessarily any need for any rhyme for it. You could have made the three other lines rhyme with each other, but what really matters is the fact that the refrain didn't necessarily need any rhyme. The first stanza is perfection at its finest. With the other two.....Stanza 2 could lose a syllable in Line 2, and Stanza 3...."Caressing over"? Don't think anything can caress over things, and "rejuvenating precious lives" is a bit of a mouthful.

Otherwise, this is a great start!

[Jessica Lima]

YESSSS! I second your comment too!

[Zephyr]

Thanks for the suggestions.:)

[Zephyr]

i read your comments again. Thanks for the guidance. I never thought much when I wrote it...but damn, your reviews throw a whole new light on my poem. Thanks a lot

[emipoemi]

always a pleasure.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Beautiful and graceful poem, like the river described. "Humming tunes sweet..caressing over pebbles"-lovely and powerful. Love this!

[Zephyr]

Thank you so much ☺
I am glad you enjoyed!

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful poem. I loved the description of the river. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Zephyr]

I am so happy to read your words:)
Thank you so much!

[Coyote Poetry]

I did enjoy and you are welcome Neetha.

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Such a beautiful and captivating prose. I loved this one and the Author's note is really nice. Great work friend :)

[Zephyr]

Thank you so much:)
I am glad you enjoyed!

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Your most welcome :)

[Rassoul]

I loved your description, nice one.

[Zephyr]

Thank you so much, Rassoul:)

[Farhan Shaikh]

Beautifully written..amazing

[Zephyr]

Thank you so much:)
Glad you enjoyed!

[Abhishek Asthana]

I guess this kind of productive write can open the eyes of authorities and citizens to have a deep understanding what steps to be taken to prevent it..the massive message has been shared by this shorter piece of writing... quite impressive :)

[Zephyr]

Thank you so much, Abhishek:)
I am humbled by your review!

[rowan.taylorrr]

this is beautiful!! i love it

[Zephyr]

Thank you so much:)
Glad you enjoyed!

[Mr.Writer]

The descriptions, the beauty and the ability to visualize are all there!
The poem's repetition helped enhance the poem and made it engaging for the readers!
Keep it up

[Zephyr]

Thank you so much Shaan:)
Glad you enjoyed!

[Chase Dylan]

From the repeated syllable rhymes, along with same letter use... Succinct and crystal-clear wordage... You made me feel the river, rather than just see it... Smoothly penned...

[Zephyr]

Thank you so much, Silente:)
Always happy to read your review!

[Chase Dylan]

Keep up the rejuvenation of spirit...!