War of words

War of words

A Story by Neetha
"

War & Peace

"

“Why can’t you just die?”

He barked, with clenched fists.


“Who are you to tell me that? I will be here as long as the call from above comes!” I retorted back, not willing to loose in this war of words.


“Then I suppose you will be here for a long time. Surely He doesn’t want you in his Kingdom any sooner!” He snarled back.


“Then be happy coz I will be here to haunt you forever!”

I shot back with an evil grin.


He decided to give up. He shot me one angry look and turned away.


The adrenaline pump in me was so huge and I felt like I have just scaled a mountain. Mind you, he is not sb who gives up easily.


Haughtily, I turned around and paced forward. I took a few steps and then I heard myself crash forward with a huge “AAAAHHH”


“What the heck!” I cursed. I couldn’t get up. I was there, sprawled on the ground. My arms hurt and my legs felt numb.


As I tried to pull myself up, I heard a small cackle above me.

I looked up, and to my utter disbelief, saw him.


He extended his hand and as he helped me get up, I felt like a worthless worm.

“Thanks bro!” I murmured.

© 2017 Neetha


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Reviews

Loved the conversation, you wrote...short and sweet
:)

Posted 2 Years Ago


Short description of a spat. Not badly written. There are some tense changes to look at, and watch the use of 'back' i.e. 'retorted back'...'snarled back'...neither is necessary here. All in all, pretty good.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Neetha

1 Year Ago

Thanks for the tips buddy
Will surely keep in mind the next time i write.
It goes to show that even when we argue with people, we often still need them.
Hate to be that guy, but you mean "lose" - not "loose" (it's a bit of a pet peeve of mine :P) otherwise - I like the sentiment of this story :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


Neetha

2 Years Ago

'Loose' and 'Lose'- I always get them wrong.
And its fine with me that you pointed it out!read more
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A relatable idea, Neetha.

We all argue for various reasons with the people in our lives; it is just human nature. Disagreements are a part of our humanity. The key is how to resolve the fall out when the tempers have cooled. And that is the area that everyone must always work on.

Your conclusion illustrates just how petty some arguments can be and the best approach to resolving them is to show genuine remorse.

I enjoyed the write.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Neetha

2 Years Ago

Thank you doodley😀
I don't why while reading this I didn't really felt anger more like a couple fight or one those where she or him wants attention from the other .
maybe the ending gave me that feeling.
that '' thanks bro'' didn't really killed my romance I created.



Posted 2 Years Ago


Neetha

1 Year Ago

Always a pleasure that my stories can suit my readers..😉
A surprising ending. I liked the ending. I liked the situation you create and the anger in the words. Thank you Neetha for sharing the entertaining story.
Coyote

Posted 2 Years Ago


Neetha

2 Years Ago

Thank you coyote:)
Coyote Poetry

2 Years Ago

You are welcome my friend.
I enjoyed the twist Neetha. It's lighthearted and creative. Thank you for sharing it.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Neetha

2 Years Ago

Glad to read that duff:)
Ah if all wars only when as far as words the world would be a safer place. But I have to tell you that you should build on this, it is a good foundation for a much bigger story or maybe even a novel :~) Standing Ovation! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

Posted 2 Years Ago


Neetha

2 Years Ago

Thank you Bear:)
Kind gesture touches the heart. I liked how you revealed the speaker 'He' in the end and that created a nice effect.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Neetha

2 Years Ago

Thank you Najam:)
Najam Us Saher

2 Years Ago

You're welcome. ☺
if short stuff pays emphasis on a very powerful emotion then no other pieces are more noteworthy than it...really liked the way you highlighted the emotion of kindness in the end, like you do in your other pieces as well... nicely written :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


Neetha

2 Years Ago

Thank you so much!

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Added on October 5, 2017
Last Updated on October 5, 2017
Tags: Fight, Affection

Author

Neetha
Neetha

Kerala, India



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