War

War

A Story by Neetha
"

What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

"

I closed my eyes shut. All around me, I could hear bombs exploding and people screaming. I tried my best to calm myself, to not hyperventilate. But it was of no use. My mind kept telling me that I could die any time.


Fear controlling me, I opened my eyes. A dilapidated cubicle met my eyes. I crouched closer to the walls thinking I would be safe. From Bombs.


I could have sat there, afraid and helpless, till death came to me. But despite all my fears, I had the urge to live. I wanted the world to know about the bloodshed and gore in my country.


 I stood up chanting prayers over and over in my mind. I didn’t think much. I had enough of thinking. Now I need some solid action. I ran to the door of my dilapidated cubicle and once there, I dashed out into the street.


Dust clogged my vision as I ran through our once peaceful streets. I was not running aimlessly. My mother had told me about a sort of camp for the war victims. It was some distance away from the cubicle, which was once our home. I was clearly a victim. I lost everything and everyone I had ever loved. The piercing thought that I was all alone made me stop abruptly.


I fell down to my knees, crying. All the pent up frustration came rushing out in a deluge of tears. “Ma… why did you leave me? I need you, Ma. I need you. I am afraid and alone. God could have taken me too away with you” I looked up to the heavens asking a million Whys all at the same time.


The sound of a loud crash to my right shook me out of my miserable reverie .Splinters  from the crash pierced into my right arm and a chilling pain pulsed through it. In a reflex, I clenched my right hand with my left to kill the pain. My left hand felt deadly warm and messy. I brought it to my face to see blood smeared across it.


I felt nauseous. Even though it was not a deep cut, blood oozed out continuously. With all my strength, I tore off a piece of cloth from my long but dirty frock. And with my left hand, I tied it firmly around the cut. Good thing I am left-handed.


I pulled myself up and continued to walk. The camp must be somewhere near. Going by what my mother told me, it was roughly a Kilometer away from La Femme, an extravagant saloon, which crashed down just minutes before, injuring me.


I limped through the streets, deaf to the deafening hell around me. I must have gone quite a distance, when somebody tugged at my clothes. I froze. Is it a militant? Is s/he gonna shoot me the moment I face him/her? So I just stood there and the along with the tugging came a soft voice, ‘Can I come with you?’


Relieved, I turned around to see a cute little boy with unkempt hair looking up at me. I felt immensely happy at his sight and swiped him up in my arms saying a rather loud ‘Yes!’ I may not be able to protect him for long but as long as I am with him, he would be safe. He is safer with me than being alone in this Hell.

© 2018 Neetha


Author's Note

Neetha
War in Syria is claiming many innocent lives. Pray for Syria.
The civil war is destroying the country.

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Reviews

nicely written really i even know the side effects of war

Posted 1 Year Ago


Neetha

7 Months Ago

Thank u dines
Dinesh Unlimited

7 Months Ago

my pleasure
Neetha, this is a good story. It certainly points out the futility of war.

Consider writing this in present tense.
i.e. "I closed my eyes shut. All around me, I could hear bombs exploding and people screaming. I tried my best to calm myself, to not hyperventilate. But it was of no use. My mind kept telling me that I could die any time."
to
"I close my eyes shut. All around me, I can hear bombs exploding and people screaming. I try to calm myself, to not hyperventilate. But it's no use. My mind keeps telling me I could die any time."

I think the immediacy of present tense would pack a bigger punch.
Just a thought.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Neetha

1 Year Ago

I agree Ted!
Glad you reviewed and gave an honest thought:)
I never read something like this before. When reading this, I feel like I'm traveling along with the subject and I can imagine myself in her place. It must be very horrible and painful for whoever facing this situation in Syria right now. I will always pray for them.
Well done!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Neetha

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much Meshalini:)
Glad to read from you!
Your words really made me live the scene. If a write about wars, in itself, can terrify me, then I do wonder how life would be for the actual victims of war. A horrifically good write!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Neetha

1 Year Ago

Thank you Zoe!
Zoya

1 Year Ago

No problem,
Neetha, may I say, this poem is fantastic. Now, war is one of the worst things that could happen in the world. It could lead to death, (obviously), injuries, grieving and cold sweat with tears. It could lead to world domination. And when I say this poem is fantastic, I'll tell you why. War is terrible, but this story between the Syrian War and the girl in the skirt, is quite emotional. You have even used an anecdote to give a backstory to the reader. That's one thing. It is saddening, this poem, it really is, but the way you have written it makes it great to read, but my heart is quickly beating whenever I do. You also express what the character is like. She is afraid, she is innocent, and she doesn't like this war happening. The way you express her emotions once she sees the little boy at the end is quite good. It shows how kind and sweet the girl is. "I fell down to my knees, crying." Quite emotional, and I like emotional poems because it gives you that big rush of adrenaline throughout the body, gets your heart beating. With this poem, you've done just that. Brilliant. Also, it is in first perspective and the way you tell the story from that kind of perspective is lovely. I think you are a good writer, and I think you should write more :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


Neetha

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much Zak!
Your words really mean a lot to me. To be honest, I was quite unsure w.. read more
ZakLeonRamsey

1 Year Ago

I’m glad it did.
Powerful and needed words. Syria and Yemen are being destroyed and few show concern. The United nation is so weak. Need to be shut down. I'm praying too my friend. All we can do is remind people. War is killing many in Syria and Yemen. I have burn sage and I believe. It will take a billion people to stand as one to stop the men of war and greed. Thank you Neetha for sharing your outstanding words and thoughts.
Coyote

Posted 1 Year Ago


Neetha

1 Year Ago

Thank you Coyote. I wrote this story after reading about how many innocent children are killed in th.. read more
Coyote Poetry

1 Year Ago

Look at Yemen. Saudi Arabia destroying and killing. Even worst than Syria. I will never understand b.. read more
Such haunting writing! War is undoubtedly a terrible, terrifying thing that ruins the lives of many it touches. The details you include in this story are very poignant and paint the terrible scene. I like that, despite the subject matter, you end the story on a somewhat more hopeful tone. I thoughts go out to all the people affected by war.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Neetha

1 Year Ago

Thank you Clifford:)
Glad to read from you!
loved your story,and you`re right,what does it serve

Posted 1 Year Ago


Neetha

1 Year Ago

Thank you wordman:)
War serves nothing good!
 wordman

1 Year Ago

just a money racket or power struggle
Neetha

1 Year Ago

Yeah you are right!
My heart is tugging in pain to read this. You have aroused many emotions in this story. Very saddening reality to hear about Syria, it feels like they have learnt nothing from history.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Neetha

1 Year Ago

Thank you Najam:)
Najam Us Saher

1 Year Ago

You're welcome ☺

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Added on March 4, 2018
Last Updated on March 4, 2018
Tags: Will power, Loss, War

Author

Neetha
Neetha

Kerala, India



About
18 year old gal with a penchant for justice. A humanist who believes in equality. Exploring the power of of words... Feel free to contact me. Always ready to listen😜 Good day buddi.. more..

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