The Visit

Being with my love...

I wake up to a dewy, misty morning. Its still dark outside. And silent.

 I walk out into the comforting silence and breathe in the fresh early morning air. 

 Once. Twice.

 Closing my eyes, I breathe in again. I hold my breath, letting the freshness diffuse into my entire being. And when I could hold it no longer, I breathe out, into the dark silence, letting go of my regrets.

 The natural detox refreshes me, unlike the drugs plaguing my body. And as if in a trance, I start walking. I know where I am headed. And I don't stop myself. The urge to be with my love is too strong to resist. 

 But I am still nervous. I have avoided this for so long that a tinge of guilt starts ebbing at my core. I walk and walk, distracting myself with the beauty of the breaking dawn. 

And when I finally reach the gates, the darkness I took refuge in had dissipated completely. Carefully, I open the gates. I walk in, soaking in the calmness of the place.

 

And I kneel down beside his home. His grave.

Reviews

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Woah, I did not see the ending coming! It’s such a great, beautiful poem. You really have a thing with imagery and story, and the emotions too!

[Anjali]

Emotions related to a lost love is something most of the writers I came across here are well acquainted with. I loved your writing, it did touch a string in my heart.

[Tabby Mac]

Great imagery here! Well done on emotion too.

[Zephyr]

Thank you so much. Glad to hear that:)

[barleygirl]

This is a very amazing demonstration about how simple straightforward writing can be very powerful in building suspense. The whole way thru, I was dying to know what this was all about. You did a great job of putting us into the narrator's shoes & having us walk those steps. Great use of body language as well as mental ruminations (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Zephyr]

Thank you so much:) Really glad to read your well thought out words.

[Laconic Meraki]

The words you wrote were very real.
It painted a picture I played out in my mind while reading.
I felt the emotions.

I want to read more.

[Zephyr]

Really glad to hear that:)
Thanks for the read.

[Jags]

This is beautiful. Every line simply made me want to read more of your story.
Loved it!

[Zephyr]

Glad to hear:)

[bookishmuggle]

I love the way you write. I can picture the story so clearly. Nice job :)

[Zephyr]

Thanks a lot:) Glad to hear the imagery worked.

[wordman]

sad write,touching emotions of a lost love

[Zephyr]

Yes, exactly. Thanks for the read:)

[Ted Kniffen]

Well written Neetha. A good story as well. The twist at the end is very good ... unexpected and I like that.
I could get a good sense of the surroundings and the emotions the writer is conveying. Well done.

2nd line - spelling mistake 'breathe' instead of 'breath' - but it's a minor thing.

[Zephyr]

Thank you so much for the review, Ted!
And thanks for pointing out the spelling error, will correct it asap. Glad to hear you liked it.