Cheezer!

Cheezer!

A Poem by Vanessa Macanas
"

Jumbled up mess of feelings and words I can't seem to get passed my lips! Haha heres to you boyfriend!

"

I have trouble with words that come from my mouth.

I slip, fall, and fumble all over them,

Leaving what I say a jumbled mess.

So I'll write it out in hopes it will all make sense.

 

I feel like a new me or another person.

Or maybe it's the old me that was just buried so deeply.

Either way this new feeling has got me feeling...

Tipsy, ha you know, happy go lucky, eyes twinkling,

Cheeks that hurt because I can't seem to stop smiling,

But everything is still cloudy and unpredictable.

 

I've got butterflies and this time they don't make me sick.

They wait and anticipate your touch,

The one that sets them free.

 

Released

 

And I feel so safe in your arms.

You grab my hips and pull me in...

I lose my breath and stumble on the words hanging from the tip of my tongue.

Maybe it’s because you take them right out of my mouth.

And you don't even have to say a word.

I'm left breathless, speechless, and you understand it all.

So much is said in the silence we share.

It's like nothing else matters and no one else is there.

 

I've been told that I wear my heart on my sleeve,

Cliché' I know, but somehow it just feels right.

Your hands holding mine, reassuring me

That the heart I wear so close to my sleeves,

Won't fall as long as we are together.

 

Ha, I'm a cheese ball and I don't care!

I can be myself when I’m with you.

I feel so free and open.

I've let my walls come down,

Leaving myself completely vulnerable and unprotected,

And somehow I'm not the least bit worried.

 

I guess what I’m trying to say is…

I’m falling for you and I don’t plan on stopping myself.

You are amazing and wonderful,

And I am so lucky that you are mine.

 

Ha ha, CHEESE BALL!

 

© 2010 Vanessa Macanas


Author's Note

Vanessa Macanas
Anything I need to fix?

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Reviews

In is Ok to be a cheese ball for love. A very good poem. I like the language of the poem. A excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 10 Years Ago


I like the two verses as I feel like that about my physical being and my written being. We can be different in words.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Well done. You make effective use of stanzas of varied length, including one that consists of a single word. I think the theme progresses nicely as the poem moves along and the choice of words suits the subject. I would shorten the first line by omitting 'that come from my mouth' - I mean, where else would words come from? I don't think i'd mess with anything else.

Posted 10 Years Ago


The words tumbled down the page in a mixture of poetry and prose, somehow... and I liked this sense of abandon, of letting it all fall out, in keeping with the sentiment of the poem... Don't fix it... just let it be... like when you fall into his arms... what's there is there... it doesn't really matter so long as you feel OK... *smiles*

Posted 10 Years Ago


Charming, amusing, natural.

The off-hand delivery completely suits your feeling unabashedly awkward about expressing good feelings, so don't see anything to fix considering all that.

The self-effacing "Cheezer" or "CHEESE BALL" pretty much sums that up.

A lovely grrrl baring her soul so readily has a nonpareil charm all its own.


Posted 10 Years Ago


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Jim
I'm not seeing any grammatical errors and stuff like that, if that's what you mean. If you wanted some advice, I would recommend adding a few more details. Right now it seems a lot more like "telling" than "showing." Maybe a description of your boyfriend and what it is about him that you like. You might throw in an incident or a little story of something he did that represents what he means to you. The image I liked most in the poem was the stanza about the butterflies. You might want to expand that part.

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on September 16, 2010
Last Updated on September 30, 2010

Author

Vanessa Macanas
Vanessa Macanas

Las Vegas, NV



About
ART. MUSIC. LOVE. The passions that she thrives upon. Surveillance reveals a compassionate young mind living with her heart on her sleeve. She induldges in long late night conversation and french v.. more..

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