Chapter 2 : Rest Of The Lesser Douchebags & A Pink Underwear

Group amends the interruptions in their plan

The lights on the floor was kept into bare minimum. Rahul peeped through the glass barrier behind his desk computer and found few folks in the other far end of the floor. It was an expansive floor, almost the six of a football field. As he checked, there weren't a lot of heads around. Maybe a bunch, apart from his group. Few girls chattered in distance. Both of them had newly joined the office and looked like a bombshell made of freaking unearthly delicious set-pieces. He was objectifying them and it was a bad thing to do. Only if someone could tell that you that 'just woken up' flaccid thing inside his trouser, which was slowly but definitely electrifying itself into something.

"Hey... hey" whispered Swami from his desk. All the four sat in close proximity of each other.

"You can talk out loud, idiot. There's barely anyone in floor. Don't sound like we are on bank heist" hissed Shekhar.

"We got a problem, dude"

"What problem now?"

"I think the 'Hulk' is in shift today. Shouldn't he be on a holiday?" . 'Hulk' was probably the most terrifying guy in the entire office. Quite uncharacteristic of the name given to him, Subhash Singh Rathore was a team lead of the best leading team on the floor and he iron handled everything. He wouldn't give a damn to the CEO of the office, if he found the job undone. He was timid, lean and wore heavy glasses, but it wasn't his size, but his chilling roar which terrified everybody. He was perfect in his work was an added insult to everybody around him.

"S**t! He doesn't like out team a bit." Pintu joined the conversation.

"Trust me, he would be constantly monitoring our call queue. One mistake and he'll be shooting emails everywhere up the order."

"Lets cancel the plan, I say", suggested Swami.

"F**k, man" 

"Wait, hold on folks", Rahul stood up and looked at everyone. They knew he would now try to be a motivational speaker now and they hated it.

"Let's once be a man, guys" he continued."F**k the 'Hulk', we are doing it. Its now or never."

"I'll go for never" reverted Swami immediately in his timid voice.

Pintu and Shekhar just blinked in confusion. Shekhar in particular, had been verbally screwed by him once and he knew 'Hulk' is a little bundle of explosion.

"We need to fix him up", whispered Pintu, less of courage, more of a made-up courage.

"What?" quizzed Swami.

"I have a plan in my mind"

Everyone looked at him puzzled. They knew he was an absolute dumb head, yet curiosity took over.

"Okay, so here's the plan" he explained. " We all know that "Hulk" goes for dinner break sharp at 11, right. And we all know he is an absolute cleanliness freak. He never touches anyone's else desktop, except his own."

"Yup" replied Rahul.

"And he sits away from his team, near the Manager's cabin"

"F****r, come to the plan."

"It's simple. We'll send our mouse over when he is out for dinner break to destroy his desktop.... umm maybe smash his network cable or bend the pins of network cable or something."

"A mouse" asked Swami with anxiousness and everyone turned to him. 

He was the mouse.

In the far end of the building, two of the security team guy were seated comfortably under the winding air vent. Numerous screens with live camera feed displayed on their screens. They were responsible for the vigilance of the entire building and they knew their job well. 

Smell of samosa filled the air. Lucky they had no security camera inside their own room, else Samosa could lead them into some good old troubles. "No eatables allowed" board stared at their faces un-animatedly.

"What's the next bet, Babu?", the one with huge belly said. The buttons of his belly were choking it its hold. 

"Next employee who enters the Gate 2 will be wearing a black shirt.", the other replied. He was a funny little man with whiskers for a mustache. It looked very un-real and lots of people had actually tried pulling it off. Well it was real.

"Haha, who wears black shirt in night, idiot. You'll loose this one". Together they waited for someone to walk in. It didn't take long before a lady in white top walked in.

"You lost, bugger."

"Shut up, I spoke of a male in black shirt."

"No no, you said next employee. She is wearing white. Give me 10 bucks now."

"Wait, look carefully", the other one said as he zoomed the camera over her. "She is wearing a black bra. Can you see the strip on her shoulder."

"That's not a black shirt, is it?"

"It's not a white shirt either, rather a white top and a black bra."

"Okay okay, I get it. Now stop zooming on her b***s. You'll get us fired. Everything's f*****g recorded."

"Okay what's the next bet?"

"Look at camera number 6 at cafeteria. The guy at the food counter. I bet he'll pay in cash, not in card."

"Well looks like he isn't paying at all to me."

"Wait"

Suddenly a loud beep caught their attention. It was a fire alarm from the fifth floor, one of many false alarm they have been receiving of late.

"Go and check" the fat one ordered.

"Well why don't you go and check."

"I'm your senior here."

"F**k you, I ain't going anywhere. Take no action and the senior gets to answer everything."

"How about this, I show everybody that you have been zooming camera on an employee's breasts?"

There was no reply, a low thud on the desk as Babu stamped his palm and stood up.

The plan was subtly modified and now the group decided to screw Hulk's machine and roll the joints at the same time to save precious time. While Shekhar and Rahul disappeared into the men's washroom for rolling the joints, Pintu and Swami hideously sneaked towards the Hulk's desk. Dim light and huge empty floor assisted their mission. The girls still chattered in the distance. It wasn't a "I bought a new sandals" type of chat, more of the lines of "Come Beiber, suck me clean" type of chat.

"Bro, we need to walk on all four" whispered Swami in Pintu's ears.

"You're the mouse, I'm just by your side."

"Well people will see you in that case, not me. Better get into all f*****g four."

"Okay okay." Together they crawled to the desk and realized they were looking at millions of wires running everywhere.

"Which one's the network cable?" asked Swami.

"The hell do I know."

"What color is it supposed to be?"

"I do not know."

"Wasn't this your plan?"

"But you were supposed to be the rat."

"Call me mouse" fumed Swami, as he slowly eased out of the desk and signaled Pintu to get in. 

It was his plan.

"What? I'm too big to get in."

"Well that's your problem, big guy."

"Such a f****r , I swear you aren't getting a single puff."

"We'll see about it later. Get inside now and destroy whatever you see."

Pintu struggled into the closed space while Swami was left staring at his huge a*s.His trouser was pulled down considerably and Swami was grossly surprised at the hairy butt crack and the underwear trying to cover it up.

"Holy f**k, are you wearing a pink underwear?"

"What?I can't hear you. I'm just unplugging all the cables in here. I hope I don't get fried."

"A pink underwear dude. Its a baby pink, for god's sake."

"What baby?"

"Dude I'm really feeling nauseous. Your a*s is too close to my face."

"Kiss it, man" Pintu chuckled.

Reviews

[DIVYA]

Rolling on floor at the ending! Hilarious and funny and more, I loved it! Your eye for details and the typical way the office crowd interacts makes the story amusing and entertaining! Liked the character sketches too and the fact that they’re not too forced. But it’s the ending that’s just rip roaring! Way to go Abhishek! Kudos! Thumbs Up 👍🏼

[Abhishek Izy]

Eyes for details here was rather an eye for butt crack! Grossly a male one lol. This is just a fun piece I’m writing cuz you know what I’m in office and it’s boooooring!!

[DIVYA]

Lol. Office is boring anywhere. Good to see you are putting your time there to productive use 😹 the pink undie idea was 👌🏼

[Abhishek Izy]

😂😂😂😂 well I’m planning to get more cruel with these stone heads later on

[DIVYA]

Haha! I don’t doubt you will. Will be fun to read! Just keep with it 😺