Synaptic Scribbling

How the mind works. Where thoughts are stored and how they are retrieved.

My eyes like honey catch hold of things

Trapping the threads on magic carpets

That ride Apollo's chariot into my vision.

Once caught, these strange things,

Delightful things, familiar things; 

They become scribbles on the walls,

Deep etchings in stone slate markers 

Behind the back 40 of my racing mind.

Where they fill holes like honeycomb,

Waxing together with similar things,

Growing legs that wander through me

Like a lonely drifters scuffed boots

That are impossible to miss walking by;

His sorrowed tale, soaked in like sweat.

There is no rhyme or reason to "why?"

Why the weight of money in the hand

Easily shares the same dusty cell block 

As smiling faces and hollow mattresses.

Why should floor model TV knobs turning 

Their "clack clack" by shiny plastic degrees

Sleep underneath the same old hard bunk

As windblown shutters outside a farmhouse?

I see less and less of each nowadays...

Grimy city streets and cold electric lights

Rise and fall over themselves grid-like.

As chain-link the scribbles fall off the page

And ink-blotted passengers arrive smelling

Fresh as the day, disembarking each memory.

Sometimes I think how the balancing act

That is my crushed crackers and pressed grape

Mind of chicken scratching's, can overtake

Itself and become blocked, leaving the tracks

Like victims of a landslide-- gone for good.

Blistered hands dig at my earthen thoughts;

Capable of such nourishment but desiccated,

By Times side-swiping vehicle; passing violently

One moment, an adrenalized near-miss the next.

With its over-sized trunk filled full with drugs 

That hide the empty bottles behind the seats.

Its narcotic engine and barbiturate muffler

Wailing and snoring their amnesic harmony

Into my train tunnel eardrums, where avalanches

Keep that lucid locomotive stalled and steaming.

With a forced silence and tightly clenched fists

Sticks are placed carefully below the blockages

In my mountain pass, to offer up temporary 

Entrance through a blast of dynamic will power,

Obliterating granite runoff like grit struck matches   

In the darkness; instantly granting form to the void.

Once again welcoming into the land of the never-lost

Things that drip like honey; sweet in the mind

As they appear magically, upon thin silk threads 

Tied meticulously thereabouts to the doorknobs

Of knowledge on the one end and the other is

Shaken randomly by the movement of the eyes,

Hypnotically following the glow of chariot wheels

That dawn upon the waking world of all things.

Author's Note

Another 'train of thought' somewhat in a stream of consciousness diatribe but with punctuation and some separation of ideas. Thoughts and reviews always welcome.

Reviews

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Hypnotic... need I say more... (I think I do) lol
Well, I have to tell you this...you are brilliant. I love the way you have tied the honey to the facet of thoughts being developed. Written with perfect precision...nicely done!

[Astro]

Thank you very much Robbie, I've heard some whispering among the cafe of your mastery which I will do my best to seek out in the future. Thank you for such a warm review.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

oh you have, have you? lol
I hope it's not a tall tale in which I cannot live up to....very daunting! lol

P.S. I enjoyed this immensely. :)

[Astro]

I only heard that you were somewhat of a Senryu master and I'm glad you enjoyed this.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I did enjoy this indeed! :)

[Kristin Lee]

This seems more like a conscious dream that random thoughts. A reflection of many things all laced together into an singular image that makes it easier to handle or process. A walk through some enchanted forest so to speak. I like how everything flows together yet separate. The thought beginning and ending with honey as if the moment is both sweet and sticky. And you fully recognize that its hypnotic in you last line which is completely appropriate.
This is another one your that I feel pushes your skills to a new level. Its deeper, richer and more involved. It gives up more of a glimpse into you. I really enjoyed this one. Definitely another favorite :)

[Astro]

Thanks Kristin, that means a lot. It definitely wasn't all stream of consciousness, in the sense that it does have form to it. But it also describes thought and consciousness of reality through my poetic vision so, I had to acknowledge it. Thank you for the nice compliments.

[Jack...]

Excuse me for a second while I untie my brain...ok, now I can think straight again, I think. Astro, my man, you have carved Mount Rushmore on the eraser of a number 2 pencil here. Contructed a gathering of thoughts and erractic dreams and using th all powerful, new and improved wordglue, assembled them into a structure that should stand the test of of time. Very cool.

[Astro]

Well thank you very much for the artistic comparison Jack. I had fun putting this one together.

[Dana Alsamsam]

I love this "stream of consciousness" vibe you have going. it's almost like rambling, but each line is so well put together and great to read with all the alliteration and other literary device. i especially love when you go off topic for a moment:
"I see less and less of each nowadays...
Grimy city streets and cold electric lights
Rise and fall over themselves grid-like.
As chain-link the scribbles fall off the page
And ink-blotted passengers arrive smelling
Fresh as the day, disembarking each memory."
Those were wonderful lines, riveting and full of imagery!
You always take large hard to tackle topics and do great things with them and make them simple in the best way possible. great job!!

[Astro]

Wow, thank you Dana that was really a kind and thoughtful review. I am grateful and very pleased that you liked this one. Thank you very much.

[Dr. Wood ?]

I love the stream of consciousness method of writing, I used to post these on a regular basis but I could not compete with this..You have a wonderful way with words and your imagination knows no bounds...I was swept along with this anticipating the end and never wanting it to happen

[Astro]

Why thank you Doc, I am happy you could take a trip into my mind and be content to live there for awhile. The compliment on the imagination feels good coming from someone so 'versed' in it himself.

[Dr. Wood ?]

You KNOW that yo have a talent in that direction my friend....The human mind is a mine field of creation...keep on tapping it

[quinfinn]

Astro, you have got one hell of an imagination...this is not just a stream of consciousness being penned to paper, this is a journey being chronicled for future mapping...i have to be honest, for a while i was flashing back to the 70's and some of the "try this" moments of my youth....this is superb!

[Astro]

Thanks a lot Quin I had fun letting my mind drift with this one and at the same time crafting an overall sense of lucidity to bring it back around. Glad you enjoyed it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

my feelings here...i see old thoughts that used to come across and move my pen starting to become memories...that are fading..as is my writing...because when i look around to today at what there is...the honey seems to be gone...there is not the same inspiration i used to have...things just store up in me, and not come out on paper...writing is what i used to do...when all that honey got in my eyes and then slowly seeped out onto the paper.

well that is how i relate to this piece...i like the stream of consciousness style.

[Astro]

Thanks jacob! Here's hoping those muse like bees return to their floral rich home inside your mind once again and make the sweetest of honey that you've never quite tasted. Glad you could relate and enjoyed the form. Take care.

[Troy Henson]

I must admit I had to read this twice to get a clear sense of what was going on. A tale of many stories woven into one mesmerising brain snap that flooded many emotions out for us readers to analise.
A piece open to interpretation on many levels but one that is captivating and has you thinking "whats next"
I think i'll read it again then might need a stiff drink and lay down haha.
Great piece.
Regards
Troy

[Astro]

Well you honor me greatly just by reading it once but to take the time to reread it and analyse it to the point of breakdown....well that's just awesome!! Thanks for the honest review.

[Cool Handless Luke]

a great opening line since you will be expanding upon a labyrinth of nuggets and musings and stray thoughts intrinsic to stream of conscious poems, as well as being symbolic of an immediate desire to catch the reader and pull him in for the roller coaster epic tale to follow. having written a few i realize that it's almost impossible for an outside voice to analyze these poems because it is so fast paced and sporadic and impulsive that you really don't even know where you are going to end even being safe in the knowledge that you are the creator of the ride. so basically we are left to admire the wordsmithing and uncomplicate ourselves from the ramblings enough to offer our appraisal. ihope you get some reads on this my friend because it is good work. my favorite piece of work is called "the sky's too bright" but it is such a complicated stream to follow it is also my most under read. i have nothing but praise for you here as you wielded some fine terms and adjectives and sewed together such gems as "barbiturate muffler" and "narcotic engine" and so on. it's a piece to be read aloud which is the mark of something golden. to demand an audience with the ears as well as one with the mind. kudos to you. we need more streams in this town.

[Astro]

Thank you very much, it's interesting that you would find that there is a difficulty to analyse this one for an outsider. I don't necessarily disagree in a line by line sort of way with regards to imagery. This is my own mind we're talking about here, but on the whole I think that there should be enough in the design to, as you put it, "catch the reader" and then "expand upon a labyrinth of nuggets and musings" but also, I tried to have the ending come back around like a mental toy train of thoughts about how what I see through my eyes finds its way into my mind and is retrieved in a magical manner whenever certain influences call them forth. I'm glad you liked the bit about 'Time's' vehicle I was trying to describe how sometimes it passes violently, with high velocity screaming from its "narcotic engine" and other times it seems to come at you speedily but then something happens where you are caught in this languid stretching out feeling of time that feels like a "barbiturate muffler" gliding passed you in a near-miss and heart stopping manner. Now I'm rambling again. I'll give your stream taste later today, have chores for now. Thanks for the thoughtful review.

[Cool Handless Luke]

I caught the general theme of course but didn't feel it adequate to just remark and say "ok your poem is about this and this and your theme is that." The complication is within the chops of the poem that the make it truly a work of art in the stream of conscious aspect. Every poem has a theme that's usually pretty easy to grasp. I simply didn't want to offend with my own hasty perceptions from line to line when it's these nuggets that lend the meat to the bone and that perhaps only the author can ever really truly grasp.

[Astro]

I'm not offended in the least, there's a lot going on in there. Lol. I just was sharing a bit of authors perspective.

[Frieda P]

I like the intricacies of your meandering here, old and new and cobwebs of the mind coming together, you are a master wordsmith no doubt in my mind as I hypnotically follow your words on the page. Your use of gooey honey works to give this a heavy feel, yet a sweet glimpse into the world, one that is solely your own unique musings.

[Astro]

Well you catch more 'butterflies' with honey than vinegar they say. ;) When you compliment me so, Frieda it really does give me hope that I can make it as a writer, so for that I thank you with all of my overflowing and passionate heart. I am happy my meanderings weren't to disorienting and brought you on another interesting ride.

[Frieda P]

I think there's a place for both, but I like butterflies much better. :-) My pleasure to read you Astro, your work always wakes up my mind and it unfolds before me something intriguing and delightful.

[Astro]

And I get drunk on your dialect and feel heat rise from within. Thanks again.

[Frieda P]

And no hangover ;-)

[Astro]

Hahaha, what a sobering thought to go to sleep on.