A Natural Communion

Exploring togetherness

A forest; lush blankets of moss

You alone; beneath me breathing

In...then out, a living harmony--

forces compliment one another

like the paleness of your skin

sunk into the moist complexity

of silent turf keeping the secret

of the whispering pines above.

~Will you love me~

Thoughts travel through the eyes

and shout intentions with dilated

focus into the light that's reflected

~Do you want me~

Answers beg for swift discovery;

like late summers forest thirsts 

for rain to replenish above ground

A season; rich in vibrant jubilation

We together; hands held swinging

Up...then down, a true friendship--

kindred souls moving one another

like the bleeding heart that beats

gentle thunder within its softness

held tightly against the firmest rib

locking into place everlasting love. 

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Astro - the third line down sets this in play:

In...then out, a living harmony--

and then the questions give this pace:

~Will you love me~
~Do you want me~

Like pauses in-the-between of the write... as the reader gets involved in the words... and then you take the measure with the stanza after the last question:

Answers beg for swift discovery;
like late summers forest thirsts
for rain to replenish above ground

and finish this off with:

Up...then down, a true friendship--

and the rest just carries one to the ending...

[Astro]

Paying that much attention, I'd say you liked it. :) thanks for such a comprehensive review.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I just call it as I see it... if I do not see it... I will not call it... I believe that's the most times I've used the word "it"... I do not use in any of my writings or "itself" if you find "it" or "itself in any of my work... I will buy you a beer... I have one verse in my up an coming book... but I did not use "it" myself... but another writer with a collaboration verse... enough said... Good day...

[Astro]

I shall give your work a look sometime, I can always use another beer. :)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Stella Artois... it is then... cheers... take your time... they are not going any where... at the moment...

[Astro]

Stellaaaaa! She's fine by me... game on.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Romantic indeed... For me, I liked most the exploration of both the sensual and the idea of "friendship" in the final stanza. I think that all too often people see a 2 dimensional view of love--it is all wanting, needing, hoping, desiring--but that is flat in comparison to the true 3 dimensional idea of two people who are both best friends AND lovers. Anyway, this is what struck me most about this piece.

Really enjoyed the imagery here...forest imagery is quite beautiful, and you have managed to bring the innocence to the communion with this particular imagery. Any other setting would have been less youthful and jubilant. Nicely written, my friend :)

[Astro]

Thank you Sarah, for this comprehensive review of your feelings toward the content and the emotional attachment to my work that you felt. It means a lot.

[ron]

Very nice poem, very insperational. I realy did enjoy reading it.

[Astro]

Thanks Ron for the review, glad you enjoyed it.

[Dana Alsamsam]

"like the paleness of your skin
sunk into the moist complexity
of silent turf keeping the secret
of the whispering pines above."

beautiful image of pale skin against the dark green of the forest. such a natural questioning and beauty in this piece. beauty of this person. beauty of the nature. beauty of friendship. a "swift discovery" of a body, of friends, of the outdoors. this was uplifting and full of lovely imagery. great work!

[Astro]

Thanks Dana, I'm glad that this one came out so nicely. I've been told my work has been getting stronger as of late, and this one feels, to me to be one of my strongest. Happy to have uplifted you with my words.

[Dana Alsamsam]

most definitely can agree with that. i've always liked your writing, but this is a favorite! lovely to see you grow as a writer.

[Astro]

Well practice makes perfect, as you well know being a dancer. ;)

[Dana Alsamsam]

so true! i might as well live at the dance studio haha

[Jack...]

beautifully done my friend. You capture the scent of love and combine it with the beauty that is romance and friendship. I love the visions this created in my mind as I read. So very nice, your heart my friend is showing.

[Astro]

Thanks Jack I do perceive from time to time the true face of love and friendship and I am then lucky enough to capture it like this.

[Jack...]

You do it very well my friend. Your poems always feel so real.

[Astro]

Well I'm anything if not real my friend and have always told it like it is, so I think this is reflected in my art. Thank you for noticing.

[Frieda P]

Quietly stirring piece of work Astro....

kindred souls moving one another
like the bleeding heart that beats
gentle thunder within its softness
held tightly against the firmest rib
locking into place everlasting love.

These words alone could have stood on their own, in its entirety it's superb...a favorite of mine.

[Astro]

Why thank you very much Frieda, I'm pleased you like it so much. It was a castle that built itself one brick at a time, because at the outset, it was merely created on the foundation of a line in my head and I had no idea what form it would eventually take. I'm quite proud of this one though, thanks.

[Laminators Dubai]

friendship is great just like true love...
i have two besties and we share one brain.
i know this feeling...
great cool writing for me
thanks for sharing...

[Astro]

You're welcome, and Thanks for the review, I like that idea of two people sharing one brain. Suitable. :)

[Laminators Dubai]

i dont need words while im with them and if i talk about my mum than i dont even need to close to her. she is great sweet and cool too...

[Astro]

You're lucky, tell them you love them everyday.

[Laminators Dubai]

and its not two. its three, harshita(me) pooja and sandhya.

[Laminators Dubai]

well we talk to each other everyday. my house is far from them but we feel each other every moment.
love dont care and friendship never end for me ...

[Laminators Dubai]

yeah i am lucky!
i always get great people.
whatever i am now bcoz of them. soo many great friend...

[Astro]

Well pleased to meet you, I will return the favor soon of reviewing your writing.

[Laminators Dubai]

thats a nice knowing too. well you befrind me thats enough for me...
im happy now!

[Dr. Wood ?]

wow...this one is a bit special my friend..I could NEVER write like this in a million tears...bloody great

[Astro]

Well I'm lucky to have been given a muse to help inspire such work. From what I've seen of your work, I doubt with your wit that you'd be far off if properly motivated. Thanks for the review and compliment.

[Troy Henson]

True love speaks volumes. Ones desires entwined with pure thoughts of our lustful intent make us victims to some raw and pure emotion. One always wishes that we can hang on to such feelings and never be let down.

Nice one Astro
Regards
Troy

[Astro]

Thanks Troy, there are definitely some strong emotions and lustful desires about in this one, but it is the connectedness, the harmony that makes it complete.