Microstory 231: Perspective Six

This is an experimental Perspectives microstory. The introduction can be found in Microstory 225. More to follow. Image courtesy of Jay Highfill.

My wife has been on the job for too long. She claims to be years from retirement, but she could do it now, and we would still be fine. I suppose I shouldn’t say that we would be fine. I’ve been stepping out on her off and on pretty much since our relationship began, so we haven’t ever felt truly together. I justify my actions by pretending that she knows about it, but the reality is that I have no idea if she has any idea. We got together when we were young, before being gay was socially acceptable. She was my beard at the time, but I failed to inform her of the position. It’s a bad excuse anyway, because I don’t only cheat on her with guys. I thought I might be addicted to sex, but my therapist suggests I’m really addicted to the thrill. Apparently the sex itself isn’t relevant, but I just like knowing that I could get caught at any moment. The fact that my wife owns several guns and is smart enough to know how to get rid of a body makes it that much more exciting. I didn’t know if I believed that theory, but any idea to get me to stop what I’m doing is a good one. I actually did manage to stop for almost two years, but then I met this hot young thing at a bar frequented by my wife’s colleagues, and I just couldn’t resist. I guess my therapist was right. My wife is in hearings all day after an officer-involved shooting by her partner, so I decide to meet my lover at “the usual place”. While I’m drying off after a shower, I overhear my latest fling on the phone with his superiors at the FBI. I can’t hear the whole thing, but I do learn that the suspect my wife’s partner killed was previously under investigation for sex-related crimes. I don’t hear when or why the investigation was dropped. I feel the need to tell my wife the new information, but how do I explain how I found out about it?

Author's Note

Image courtesy of my father, Jay Highfill.