Silence is GOLDEN

Poem, short-poem, feedback is appreciated thank you for your time.

Silence is GOLDEN
By: Nicholas Dykstra

Tone behind words is description within,
Words will forever remain long after their written.

Thoughts form to words that form many feelings,
Feelings cause actions that become habits.

Habits are the control of once stood a word,
Curiosity of how words grew such power is a lesson earned.

Older everyday to become the wisest bird,
Past events are burned and can't be returned.

Diffuse yourself from being programmed to words,
For the silence is a much more pleasant suburb.

Silence is golden while words weigh heavy,
Think twice so actions become less habits.

Man made words to express while tone can carry,
Tread with caution while taking note life is only yours if you grab it.


~Nicholas Dykstra© 2016

Author's Note

Feedback of editing is appreciated, looking for Co-author partnership on a novel or poetry.

Reviews

[Eric]

Hi, I was asked to critique (word use literature studies) your work. In order to give you feedback, I will be using this rubric, so you can follow where my my feedback is coming from: https://hunters.adams12.org/sites/hunters.d7sb.adams12.org/files/classrooms/3rd%20Grade/attachments/Poetry%20Rubric.pdf

Feedback:

1. Content and Ideas (3/4)
2. Organization (3/4)
3. Style (4/4)
4. Conventions (4/4)

Comments: Your content is very vivid and shows a lot of concentration to the details. As such, I have an overall view of what you are saying. It should be expanded, as it seems a little rushed. You are coming close to several dublets, which creates a very interesting rythm. I suggest you look into the concept of parallelism, which is found in ancient Hebrew poetry, such as much of the Old Testament, since it does repetition and expansions of ideas. In fact, Isaiah is a master at this, along with the book of Job.

After looking at the rubric, if I calculated the the score directly, I would have a 70/100. I gave 15 extra points for its engagement. I hope this helps!

[Ashish]

Again an inspiring poem and style of writing & use of words are outstanding.. :)

[Nickdykstra]

Thank you ashish it means alot . Thank you for your time.

[wordman]

wisdom in your words,great lesson in a form of a poem..

[Nickdykstra]

@Woodman, thank you and glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for your time and review.

[wordman]

my pleasure !

[Nickdykstra]

Absolutely proud this poem has reached 100+ views thank you all for your time and reviewing my work.

[Nickdykstra]

@Eric ,Wow! Thank you so much, much appreciated and I will follow through on the material to read, thank you again , it means alot.

[Nickdykstra]

Thank you @Valentine means alot.

[Valentine]

A lot of insight put into this write, makes one want to examine them self. Valentine

[Nickdykstra]

Thank you , I really appreciate the feedback. Its what helps me better my material.

[Rene Velez]

Wise words, its what I like about poets, they bring back the humanity, well done