Helping to Forgive

Forgiveness. 

The word's not foreign, 

But the feeling of it is suddenly 

Is not what I thought it was,

Lingering inside my heart and mind

Like it's a stranger in a new home.
Is it lost inside like distant memories

That I try to remember, 

Having to dig and dig for the thought

Until I say,"I remember, I remember!",

And then say the story like it's as clear as day. 

But now that I look at the word, 

I feel like there's a puzzle piece missing

And that a wave of guilt towers over me

And crashes down like there is no tomorrow. 

Can I find forgiveness towards you and even myself

For what's happened during this turmoil? 

Or will you be able to see the pained mask 
I'm wearing and see a sad soul in my eyes,

Being able to say,"I forgive you too." 

Either way, the path that I'm on seems

To twist and turn like a spiraling staircase, 

Not knowing what's going to happen now or even in the future. 

All I can hope and figure out is what I can do

To find out if I can stop being scared of 

Your words and be able to forgive what's been done.

Author's Note

I'm not religious, but I want to be able to forgive a friend of mine in my own way.
A lot of stuff happened that shouldn't of happened, things were said, and now I'm just waiting to see what she says and to see if I can find my own meaning of being able to forgive somebody that's done wrong to me and everybody else around me. There's a reason behind this,but I don't feel like talking about it.

Reviews

[FocusedAmnesia]

"But the feeling of it is suddenly
Is not what I thought it was,"
I think this would read better if it was: feeling of it suddenly...
Extremely well written. I hope you are able to find forgiveness, in whatever way you choose.