Sunday in the Park with George...

Am finally back to writing my monthly challenges for the writers group. Not sure if this will work, I am not the best at writing "in the style of" etc. But am giving it a go ~ John Clare!

I see her sat here often, always the same seat; doing the same thing.

Sat with pen and paper, trying to jot down all that is in her mind.

Sometimes I can see the pain and emotion flow from within her.

Other times she hides it well, far too well one would say.

Many times she will stop by my most famous poem, drawn to the first opening sentence.

“I am: yet what I am none cares or knows,

My friends forsake me like a memory lost;

I am the self-consumer of my woes,

They rise and vanish in oblivious host,

Like shades in love and death's oblivion lost;

And yet I am! And live with shadows tost…”

It speaks to her, calls to something deep within her.

Does she feel me watching her, will she know that I am with her now.

I hope that she does, I know that she needs to know she is not alone.

At my lowest moment, I had someone with me; someone I could call upon.

His name was George, I would spend every Sunday in the park close to Richmond with him.

When thing became hard for me in London, George was my only friend.

Of course he was not real, I know that now.

But he was still all that I needed at one point in my life, at one time he was all that I had.

It took me three days to walk “home” from London, George was with me all the time.

I hope that someone will be there for her.

I wish that it could be me, but my moods are still not right.

She needs someone that can give her what see needs most.

A George of her own, a park for her on a Sunday.

Reviews

[Allan W]

This is a lovely piece Nicky.........tinged with melancholy, but also hopeful? I'm not familiar with John Clare I have to admit, so I would not have made the connection like Mike. I like it though! Like myself you need to edit yourself a bit more stringently as there are a couple of errors (something I have to work on too) but ignoring that, it's a worthy contender this month!

[Nicky Sarti]

Thanks kindly Allan, I'd like to think so too.
I am not brilliant at rhyming and the like, I can't really do different "types" of poetry.
I just tend to write what I am feeling etc. I must say if I understood more about them I may be able to try them more ~ like sonnets etc.
But as I say poetry is more a way for me to explain etc how I am feeling rather than about anything.
But again, thank you for your kind comments xxx

[mikerich]

A lovely piece, Nicky, full of reminiscence and longing. I like the illusory imagery you've injected. This is like John Clare writing from a perspective of years later, isn't it? A fascinating idea - a poet looking back on his own work to evoke a present experience. Do you think that your parts of the piece should also have rhymed in the manner of Clare? I don't know. Tell me what you think. But a lovely lovely piece, all the same. Mike.

[Nicky Sarti]

Thanks for your kind comments Mike.
Yes it was trying to be John Clare esq, trouble is I am no good at rhyming.
I have tried before and it comes out all wrong!