Open To Misery

If it is such a lovely thing,
Why does it rattle my bones and terrify me?
If it's such an experience,
Why do I lie and stay oblivious?
If it's something I can't live without,
Why do I enclose myself and block it out?
The answer is easy
Love leaves you open to misery
It wraps you in this bubble
It makes it so hard to breath
Feeling lonely
As if without them you're incomplete
Your mind is blurred
No one thought is clear
All you think about is them
And you long for them near
You laugh for no reason
Blush fiery red
And the tiniest string of words can cause a parade in your head
You're vulnerable and emotional
Left for all to see
That's why I hate love so completely
It's as if you're dominated by that one being
And what if they decide to crush me?
I'd be left on display bleeding
Pulling my hair, biting my lip to stop the screaming
Feeling so much hate
But it's always directed towards me
Because love has everything to do with trust
Which is something I refuse to give up
And even those I do trust, get fed up
Because I never truly let them in
I shut the door sometimes, keep distant
Secretly hoping they'll leave me
Because I can't give them everything
Even though I want to and I reach for the handle
All these ties keep me still
I'm already controlled, pocessed by fears from my past
So please don't tie me into this lovey-dovey mess
I'll remind myself that love leaves you open to misery
And live in solitude
Alone