The Great Play

The Great Play

A Poem by Nikolas

I was born me
And grew up as a stranger
Put on skin like a suit, like armor
Synthetic as plastic
I was once an honest boy
Till honesty became a sin
I became a liar
I became corrected
Making them proud, all the while
I did my part
I became an actor in a play
But the show went on and on
And all the while I wondered
What would mother say, if she knew
What would mother do
If I was not the son she wanted
If I could not be who I was meant to be
The role my sex assigned to me
My innate rites, corrupted
A traitor of the genitals that determine
What the heart is to do
I the child that would be the last
The branch reached it's end
And the offspring stop with me
And all the while I wondered
What would father say
The brute tower I was to follow
My birthright allegiance
My involuntary idol
Father, the man, the christian
The homophobic master
Betraying the patriarch
The strength I did not have
Your words that have branded me for years
Merely words to you
"When you have a wife someday"
"When you have a child one day"
My innate promise
Shattered like glass
Cut like glass
Killing the fake
All the while I wondered
What would God say
A man and a woman
A man and a woman
Sodom and Gomorrah
Thou shall not, Thou shall not
Love
Betraying the savior
The judge, the monarch, the executioner
My birth was a mortal sin
Each breath is a damnation
Every day a crime
Each pulse an abomination
But I tried to fix myself
I self medicated with lies
The disease that was my fault
My suicide was penicillin
What's left is the shell
A war zone aftermath
A failed attempt
An unfamiliar face in the mirror
A new sickness, a new tragedy
All the while I wonder
What does silence say

© 2015 Nikolas


Author's Note

Nikolas
I wrote this while I was rather tired so there may be mistakes, please point out any you see. I often struggle with poem organization so any suggestions please don't be shy. This is actually a very important poem to me so any criticism is helpful, you won't hurt my feelings. Thank you.

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Reviews

You cannot be what others want you to be, no matter how you love them. You cannot even be what you want to be. You can only be what you are. Right now you are a flower still opening and no doors are closed to you. Your attentions and intentions will take you and will make you into who you will become.
It is said we live in the End Times. This is believed by Christians and Muslims. In India they say we are in Kali Yuga. In Japan they call it Fukushima. Who knows what the gods say? I ask, do we need more children now when the earth is overflowing? Does it not seem nature is tired of us? So much fuss. The primary motivation of life is continuation of itself. It is not necessarily your primary motivation. All you need to do is be yourself. Anyway, this is today. Who knows what tomorrow brings? I should perhaps point out I am old enough to be your grandmother (68 on my last birthday) so I know life is full of surprises. I have even surprised myself sometimes. The poem is brave and beautiful. Sometimes, when you are tired, the words, realizing you aren't really in charge, just take care of themselves and you get a perfect poem.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Great poem, I loved it! Silence says nothing, if we all stay silent than we will never be treated the same as everyone else. And I think Christians have it all wrong... being gay/lesbian is not a disease and it's not a sin. If we are all gods children (according to the bible) and he created each one of us to be special (according to christians) then how can they say that he didn't create me to be a lesbian? I was born this way and I'm happy with it! You did a wonderful job with this poem sweetie!

Posted 9 Years Ago


I'm not much of a critic, I'll leave that to others on the site, but I think what you have here is a great poem.
As part of the LGBT community, I can relate to your words on a very personal level.
The only way to live life, is to live it honestly, despite everything else.
Unfortunately, there will always be someone who doesn't approve, be it God, a friend, or your family.
You have to keep fighting for yourself, eventually you find your tribe and all the acceptance and love in the world.
-VM


Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on January 1, 2015
Last Updated on January 14, 2015
Tags: gay, lesbian, homophobia, poetry, poem, dark, biography, parents, acceptance, love, loving, religion, religious, truth, lies, hate, rant, coming out, coming-out, support, marriage, lgbt, glbt

Author

Nikolas
Nikolas

About
I first began writing in 8th grade after reading Poe for the first time. I was heavily influenced by him and began writing short stories and poetry in his style. I joined my school's poetry club in hi.. more..

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